A Second Chance, A Second Life
by SeaSaw
Summary: Set 1 year after a young woman finds herself a player in Jigsaw's sick and twisted games. She must figure out whether she can continue down the path of assisting a serial killer or self destruct. Sequel to "Is There Truly Life After Death?"
1. Life Starts Again

_Just let me say one thing: I've had enough. You're selfish and sorry, you'll never learn how to love. As your world disassembles better keep your head up. Your name, your face is all you have left now. Betrayed, disgraced, you've been erased. So long, so long, I have erased you. So long, so long, I've wanted to waste you. So long, so long, I have erased you. I have escaped the bitter taste of you._

Spring had come faster then she had anticipated but she had lost so much track of time, of herself that everything seemed to blend together around her. The typical spring thunderstorms had been rolling in and today was no exception as the thunder rumbled lightly in the distance. She looked off towards the suburbs to see the lightening flash in the sky before turning her gaze up to the sky as the rain pelted her in the face. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took in the smell, sensations, and sounds of the droplets of water cascading from the sky as if it were crying just like she wanted to for the past few months. Regardless of the fact that she was here in this moment, she still was having a hard time adjusting to her new world, her new life. Pain was a constant bed-fellow in her life, reminding her of everything she lost and even those things she almost lost if it weren't for the kindness (if you could call it that) of one man.

She stood quietly in the middle of the sidewalk for a few more minutes getting soaked by the rain before she continued on her way back "home" with the necessary elements she was sent out to get. The bag hanging by her side had an all to familiar name written on it - entering the old establishment she worked in was like getting punched in the gut for her. She felt physically sick seeing one of her co-workers behind the counter and even more so at the flyer that was posted on the wall about her disappearance. All the same, the girl never even recognized her, however managed to state how she "looked like a friend" and started to tear up - god she couldn't handle watching people cry anymore, it tore her apart. Pushing the heavy metal door open, she stepped inside and closed it behind her, once more having to adjust her eyes to the lack of lighting - it was a common occurrence when she was outside, even with a storm. She was soaking wet and couldn't help but to shiver a bit at the cold that went to her bones. Setting the bag down on the table she looked around this new building that was even more unsettling then the lair. It wasn't where she was living, but asylums themselves gave her the creeps and in spite of everything she had seen from this point on, it really wasn't easier to deal with those feelings.

"John?" she spoke loud enough to carry a short distance, but not too loud because she had this mental block about someone's dead spirit roaming in this hellacious place and coming after her - superstitious behavior was so frustrating to deal with in this world. John had been working with her to get her to overcome all her adversity in his world but she just couldn't shake it. She was more an individual then Hoffman or Amanda seemed to be capable of being and she ultimately never wanted to lose what made her, well, human. She hated how undeniably dark it was in here and could count on both hands the number of times she slammed into something painfully metal and even the time she placed her hand down on something and got the point of a needle through it. That event was something all in itself because she didn't keep her composure very well with her fear of needles. "Damnit, don't make me walk through this thing." she was talking to herself as she looked around still waiting for John since he sent her to go get these things for him. She also was wondering where he was considering he hadn't been doing very well with his cancer and in spite of her distaste for what he did, she was horribly concerned for him. John had managed to get under her skin so much that she started to love the man and it frustrated the hell out of her.

She turned around to the sound of something falling behind her in the darkness of an eerie hallway and frowned a bit, clenching her fists and unclenching them in a nervous succession before she slowly walked down the dark corridor. "Hello?" no one was answering her which made her even more uncomfortable but in spite of the low level of lighting she continued before practically tripping over something in the middle of the hallway. She stumbled forward, hopping over whatever it was in her way before catching her balance with her hand on the wall. Letting her eyes adjust a little more, she finally noticed the outline of someone crouched on the floor and then came that unmistakable coughing fit. "Jesus John…" she sighed, feeling that strange and uncomfortable tinge in her heart before kneeling down beside him and placing her hand on his back, the other gripping his arm. "Come on." she hoisted him up off the ground with all her strength, draping his arm over her shoulders before slowly walking back out of the hallway and into the lighting of the lobby. As they got out she noticed the hand holding onto her forearm was bleeding and she quickly got him over to a chair, making sure it wouldn't fall apart due to age before sitting him down in it. She walked over to the bad she had set on the table and pulled out some antiseptic and walked over to him, squatting in front of him so she could easily see what she was doing. There were shards of glass in his hand and she carefully started to pull each one of them out, watching his reaction and stopping if he flinched too much. "What the hell is this from? What were you doing?" acting like a concerned mother with a child was not normally in her nature and it took her by surprise before she went silent and poured the antiseptic over his hand.

John winced with the sting of the antiseptic but smiled in spite of the pain due to her behavior. He had intended for her to be his companion and wish to care for him, but found that he didn't even need to suggest it to her because of the nature of his care for her she was doing it voluntarily. It truly did make him happy that she was so close and he had been doing everything in his power to keep it that way. There was no bandages around and he studied her silently as she reached down, ripping off the bottom half of her shirt after taking a scalpel and cutting through the fabric. She brought it up under his hand and wrapped it, tying it off tightly in the middle of his hand before patting his knee and looking up at him.

"There you go. That's the best I can do with what I have right now." She stood up, taking the antiseptic and pouring it over her hands to wash the blood off before she felt him grab her wrist. She looked down at his hand before looking over at him with a curious expression on her face.

"Thank you. Are you ready to go?" he found himself running his thumb over her hand as his grip slid down to her hand when she looked at him before he let go to her nodding 'yes' in response to his question. She bent down and draped his arm over her shoulders before helping him stand from the chair and walked over to the table, grabbing the bag before they headed out the door to go back to the lair.


	2. Curiousity Kills More Then The Cat

"So what does that thing mean anyway?" Amanda had her ankles crossed with her boots propped up on the table, her head tilted to the side as she bit into the apple she had been rolling around in her hand for the past 20 minutes. She smirked through chewing the apple, her gaze focused on the back of Michelle's shoulder that was exposed simply due to the tank top she was wearing.

She was aggressively fighting with a rusted bolt, finally deciding to just use brute force as she left the wrench attached and kicked it, finally watching it spin before she cranked it completely off. She set the wrench down and wiped her forehead, turning around to face Amanda "What does what thing mean?"

Amanda pointed to her shoulder, watching her turn her head to look over it before she realized she was talking about the tattoo.

"My tattoo? What does it matter? It's just a tattoo, lots of people have them." she was short with her before turning around again and crouching down to pick up the rusted bolt off the ground. She tried to avoid deep conversations with Amanda because the girl sometimes frightened her with what was milling around in her head. Not to mention they often times ended up arguing when they spent time together - why was she sitting down here watching her anyway?

Amanda laughed and sat upright, taking another bite of the apple before pushing away from the table and starting to walk towards Michelle. She loved how uncomfortable she was around her, especially since she seemed to be John's little pet, a fact Amanda loathed. If she had the chance to off her without John knowing, she would do it, but Hoffman's situation left her apprehensive about even trying. "Well obviously it means something. People don't typically get celtic tattoos without having a reason to get them. Just curious." When Michelle turned around to face her, Amanda grinned, holding her apple up in the air as if to say it was just an innocent question and there was no need for her to be defensive.

"If you really need to know, it's a celtic cross symbolic of my mother and my father. After my mother died and my father had been dead for quite some time I got it to symbolize the eternity of their lives and influences on me as well as our bond. And some people get tattoos because they're shit-faced drunk and stupid about it, so yes, sometimes there can be little rhyme or reason to a tattoo's existence. It never fades away so if you fuck up, you're stuck with it forever."

"You mean like those scars from when you tried to kill yourself and the ones from your traps reminding you of what a pathetic waste you were and still appear to be, right?" Amanda grinned as she saw one of the most aggravated expressions she had ever seen her make in relation to a question she asked or something she said. Finishing up her apple she tossed the core into a nearby trashcan and raised a brow slowly, pointing at what she was currently doing. "Why are you doing this anyway? You don't understand it, hell you hate it here, don't you? You act like it's the biggest burden alive to be involved and you can't stomach death one little bit. I know John wants you here which I can't explain, but why do you do what he wants if you don't want to?"

Michelle sighed deeply and for a moment looked down at her hands - that was excellent question, why did she do all of this? For the hell of it? To perhaps overcome some internal conflict? To get over her past? No, she knew the answer and it wasn't one she cared to admit to, but Amanda was unrelenting when they spoke. "I do it for John I guess. I don't know why I'm here, I'm not John. I don't think for him and I sure as hell can't get into his mind and figure it all out." She did it for _him_. That was a hard pill for her to swallow because she hadn't truly admitted it to even herself.


	3. Our Little Secret

Oh god, the smells in the hallways of this hell-hole of an asylum were going to haunt her until the day she died, she swore it at this rate. Thankfully though there would be no more tripping over things, ramming your hand into medical supplies, and potentially feeling the drip of liquid - not seeing what was dripping on you in the dark was enough to make your skin crawl. Strangely enough it wasn't something she learned from John, but after she finally got the guts to go into the basement of the hospital, she was able to fix the circuit breaker in order to restore what little power remained (thanks to broken lights and shorting wires). John seemed thoroughly impressed by her ability to manipulate and work with fuse boxes, although she seemed uneasy with trying to fix these olds ones in this building. Once the lights had come back on the imagery around the asylum was a little bit too disturbing and she started to think maybe she should have just used a flashlight and called it a day.

The implements of "treating patients" were about as violently gruesome as John's traps, although there was a touch of psychosis to what John built. Not only were the implements in every room on every floor bothersome but when entering some of the "rooms" of the patients, the writing on the walls was very disturbing not to mention the various places where blood was ever present.

Sighing deeply and fidgeting just a bit, she tried not to shake the flashlight as John placed the final touches on a trap he was setting in one of the rooms of the building. This place was huge and although John didn't intend to use the whole thing just yet, the space he was using and the number of traps had her very curious as to how many people were going to be placed in this next games. Looking over her shoulder, she watched as Mark Hoffman entered the room, looking as though nothing had happened to him thanks to very steep benefits when it came to having health care through the FBI. They exchanged a very silent string of words only deciphered by the two of them before he walked past her to John.

Adjusting his tie he looked at Michelle one last time before John stood, wiping the grease off his hands with a cloth before placing a fist to his mouth and coughing violently. "I have the files and the photos. When are we doing this?"

"Two nights. Finish up the work with Amanda down the hallway. Three doors down." he managed to stop coughing to tell Hoffman what his next agenda was before Hoffman exited the room, Michelle watching his every step and John watching every bit of her body language.

She turned to face John once more as he began coughing again, making a hacking sound as she watched a little bit of blood spatter on the floor. Her brows raised in concern and she found herself by his side, leaning down to try and look him in the face, patting his back. "John. You can't…you can't keep working like this." She was taken aback as he grabbed her arm, nodding his head in agreement before he finally had the strength to stand upright.

"I know. It's done. The other room is the last trap to finish and then we just need to get our subjects together." He watched her as she peered around the room - there were the wheels he always loved watching as they started to turn in her head, recognition and understanding was something she showed very subtly, but John could easily pick up on it. "What are you thinking?" he watched intently as she looked at him and then to the bombs in the corners of the room that she was responsible for wiring - damnit, she didn't like being so involved but her stunt with the fuse box must have nominated her with ease.

"I'm trying to figure out what's going on in these rooms. In each other there are traps but it's more then one. Like there are a number of people required to be involved in these traps. And what's the point of the…umm…use of previous test subjects as cadavers?" She glanced over at John to see that this time he wasn't smiling but he was thinking and thinking very hard about her questions. He was studying her carefully - was now the time to talk to her about how important she was to him? Perhaps it was considering her ability to figure out his traps, how they worked, get them to function, and had ultimately shut down all feeling except for what emotion they shared when no one was around.

John reached over and took her hand, gripping it hard to indicate he wanted her to lead him out of this room. She didn't say anything else as she nodded in understanding to him and headed out the door, guiding him and helping him through the hallways and down the stairs. Once they were in the lobby of the asylum John sat down in the chair near the desk, placing his hands on his legs. "I want you to listen to me carefully." he motioned for her to come closer to him and she obliged, crouching down as John reached down and took her hands in his own, placing them on his knees and squeezing them. Good, she wasn't showing concern or fear and in this moment John needed her to have a clear mind. "You have come a long way since we first met. Not only that, but you've excelled in a way I never imagined when it came to understanding the rules. Understanding the importance of your own life. We had a rough start but you have grown and I am proud of you. I need you to do something very important for me." He took a deep breath, his expression never changing. "You are the most important piece of the puzzle. The critical factor of the game." There it was, he watched her brows furrow in concern and uncertainty, still squeezing her hands to keep her relaxed, focused. "I need you to be part of this game. I need you to make sure those involved follow the rules. You MUST be here for the game to work. I will not tell you what you must do, you will be a player like the rest but I have complete faith in your ability to stay alive."

She stood up abruptly, pulling her hands from his own and shook her head, feeling overwhelmed and upset. Why did she need to be in this game? This place creeped her out worse then the lair and not to mention she knew what the traps involved. "Why would you put me in harms way? What did I do? I can't think of one thing I've done wrong." She was now standing a good 5 feet away from him, looking directly at him.

John could see the panic set in and wanted to make sure she stayed focused on what was needed. "No. You've done absolutely nothing wrong. I couldn't be happier with what you've done. I couldn't be prouder. Do you think I would put you in harms way if I did not have faith in your ability to survive? To succeed?" He stood up from the chair to walk towards her only to watch her step backwards with each step he was taking. If flight sunk in right now, she would take off out of this place and John would have to hunt her down which wouldn't work very well - it would take longer then two days for her to trust him again and he couldn't risk breaking their relationship apart. "Stop. Listen to me. I need your help here. I'm counting on you. I have many things in place that you do not know about to ensure you survive."

She felt herself getting angry and teary-eyed with the anger she was feeling inside. She never understood John in the first place but now she was even more confused then she had been in the beginning. She looked at the door before turning her back to John and started to walk towards it, John watching her each and every step. When she got to the doorway he finally spoke, demanding and strict.

"Think about the consequences of you walking out that door. Do you want to live your life alone surrounded by those who don't care for or understand you or do you want to trust me and trust in me? I have offered you everything I have and you deserve every bit of it. Will you destroy my trust in offering it to you?" John watched as she remained motionless, her hand on the doorframe and her head slowly dropping. He could see the internal fight that raged on between her heart and her mind, but John had taught her that using her heart would only cause her more pain. He was asking her to think this time around, not to feel.

As Amanda and Hoffman came down the stairs she picked her head up and turned around, looking at John carefully before bridging the gap that stood between them and taking his hand, supporting him as all four of them walked out the door and headed back to the lair.

Tonight she wouldn't sleep. Tonight she would have horrible nightmares that would create many scenarios she didn't want to reflect upon. And tonight was the only night she had to think this over because she knew that no matter her answer, she was going to be at John's every command.


	4. Trusting is Believing

Staring at the ceiling was about all she could do without going absolutely insane with the thoughts running through her mind. She was leaning back in a chair, her hands folded onto her stomach where every now and then she toyed with the scars from underneath the fabric of her shirt - a grim reminder of days past and her unfortunate obligations to the Jigsaw killer.

John had almost completely cut off any sort of comfort she might have needed during this time but it was all necessary. He watched as her heart disappeared into the recesses where it used to lie and sound logic and reasoning appeared, causing the gears in her mind to work overtime. It was exactly what he wanted, she had to be prepared and with only two days time to do so, John needed her to focus everything on the task at hand this evening.

The two days that passed felt grueling and long, but all the same the day she didn't want to think about, didn't want to see was here and staring her dead in the face. She brought her right arm up to her face to look at her watch and realized that time was not on her side today and probably wouldn't be till she walked out of that asylum alive - which she hoped was the case.

John entered the room rather quietly, just looking at her sitting there quietly, deep in thought. As he approached her he made certain to lightly nudge her chair back down to all four legs before stepping in front of her. He had such a hard time not showing appreciation for all she did the past two days. John's cancer got the best of him and he got so undeniably bogged down by it that he couldn't do anything. She was right there with him the whole time, helping him by bringing things to him, feeding him, making sure he was comfortable, and even staying awake for 24 hours just to ensure nothing terrible happened. It was what John had planned all along, he just hadn't expected her to take to it without hesitation like she did, but he certainly was grateful for it all. Kneeling down before her, he took hold of her arm, looking into those hazel eyes filled with doubt and confusion and…was that anger? Her frowning almost caused him to smirk just a bit - she was upset with him but he couldn't blame her. Perhaps this little "nap" would do her some good with no real sleep to speak of - she wouldn't think very well without a little shut eye.

"Do you trust me?" he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly.

"Do I have a choice?" she was sarcastic and snippy with him and couldn't help but to be annoyed at John's chuckle. She was going to go through hell just to help him with this-- shit she had to stop being so angry and just focus. That was the key, to be collected and calm. She closed her eyes momentarily and felt John's fingers brush back and forth over her wrist.

"That's it. You must relax. Your mind needs to be clear. Remember, I believe in you. You will not die unless you disobey the rules I have put in place specifically for you and if others do the same. You must keep them focused on the goal of surviving, no matter how hopeless they seem." As he watched her take a deep breath he took hold of her forearm and pulled a needle out from his shirt, finding a perfect vein and slowly inserting the tip. He felt her tremble at the sensation and for a moment her breath caught before she relaxed as he depressed the plunger. John let go of her arm and removed the needle, setting it on the table behind him as he watched her start to fade into darkness.

She opened her eyes briefly and with enough chance to see John leaning in towards her and pulling her from the chair but that was the last image imprinted on her mind as she fell into a world of darkness she had visited too many times before only this time she was a willing participant.

John had Hoffman assist considering his ability to lift things was slowly fading and had him place her in his bed where he covered her up throughout most the day. Due to being in such a deep sedation her body temperature had dropped to the point she was shivering. She had few clothes here in which to wear so John had picked up some sweat pants and a tank top, removing the clothing she had and dressing her in the items he had selected for her. She would undoubtedly be cold while running around in the asylum, but adrenaline would serve to keep her warm enough. Besides, John needed to ensure that she could move around as freely as possible. After smearing the make-up she had been wearing and making sure to "dirty up" her appearance it was time to head to the asylum.

Hoffman had carried her to the car and inside, stepping into a rather large room that had 4 other test subjects laying in it - they were 4 of the 8 total and she would be number 5. Laying her down on the floor where John indicated, Hoffman and Amanda both glanced around the room as John entered. "What if she fails?"

"Let me worry about that." John glanced at the detective before he looked around the room to ensure everything was in place. Taking the tape recorder from Amanda he placed it in the hand of a young man lying in the middle of the room and stood up, taking one more look around. He stared at Michelle for quite some time before motioning for the other two to leave the room, shutting the door behind them as it buzzed locked after John flipped the switch to the fuse box and set the timer. Her biggest challenge now would be surviving the wrath of 7 other people. She had all her clues in place to survive, but would she figure them out in time? Would she understand the purpose behind everything he was doing? John could only have faith in her and anticipate what was going to happen - but sometimes, surprises were unavoidable.


	5. Remember Who You Are

All was quiet in the confines of the dark room, the only glow present that of a red hue shining from the timer on the wall. Two people remained motionless on the floor while the remaining three sat in the darkness, shouting for help to no avail. They were unable to decipher where they were or what was happening save for the few metal bed frames surrounding them and the pungent odor of what seemed to be death.

She was one of the last to open her eyes, her ears buzzing due to the lack of the sleep she had suffered nights before the effects of the tranquilizer fading from her system. With blurred vision she looked around the room, ears finally clearing to the sounds of "HELP!" and "Where are we?!" from the panicked roommates. She rubbed her eyes and attempted to stand, only to find that wasn't going to be possible and she could only really see the outlines of people in the room before she reached down to her restricted ankle to feel a heavy metal cuff with a lock and a chain connecting her to something. She closed her eyes, she had to relax before she lost her mind like everyone else - her heart was racing frantically in this moment with memories of the past.

"What the fuck is going on?!"

"Who's there?! What did you do to me?"

"HELP, fucking HELP!"

"Oh god, this can't be happening!"

"God won't save you I'm afraid." she was cold and callous, unable to avoid that tone in her voice. She was still angry and very disturbed about being part of this thing but John asked it of her and she felt obligated to help. She touched the wall behind her and turned around, feeling around on it before her finger brushed up against a light switch and she flicked it on, the light above their heads flickering on so that now they could all see one another. Michelle looked around the room to see four people…and all of them she knew.

"Michelle?! Holy fuck! What the hell is going on here?! They said you were dead!" Her boss attempted to move towards her, unaware of the fact that he himself was chained to the wall before looking down at his ankle when he was unsuccessful. He gawked and leaned down, grabbing hold of the length of the chain and yanking on it.

…what the hell was going on? Why were all these people she worked with locked in this room with her and what the hell was John trying to prove? She looked silently at her co-workers before looking down at the chain again to note that the lock on the cuff was a combination lock that required 4 numbers to remove and undo the chain. Glancing to the door that was clearly locked, she couldn't figure out the danger in the room but that was before she placed her hand down on a tape recorder, slowly lifting it up.

"What the fuck is that?! Michelle! What is that thing?!" Catherine shouted from her location in the corner of the room, all of them chained up so they were just out of reach of one another.

She brought the recorder close before pressing the button.

"Hello and welcome. You all must be wondering why you're here. I want to play a game. All of you work for the Ascot Medical Company, some of you have been there for years. A company where those who are terminally ill with no money to afford medication are turned away so that big businesses and rich men can buy up all the merchandise you sell. These individuals that purchase these supplies from you have often times ended up not being reputable doctors and hospitals or even patients. Instead seedy individuals have been able to use your products to commit horrifying crimes while those in need suffer and die. You never once shed a tear for the loss of innocent lives, however suffer when businesses no longer need your services or completely withdraw for another company. Tonight you will learn how to rely on one another the way you rely on those who manage your paycheck with a common goal of surviving the next 2 hours. Right now you are in the room that will soon deliver a toxic and lethal gas from the vents surrounding you. On the wall are 5 combinations, all different that will allow you to unlock your bindings and walk out the door that will open shortly. Be aware that each combination has a unique trait that links it to each subject. Can you figure out what the combination is and free yourselves before the door locks behind you and you die from being poisoned?"

As the tape recorder clicked off every person in the room directed their attention to the vents, noting the strangely colored green gas that began to pour from them into the room. The timer on the wall set to 30 seconds, Michelle raising her arm up to her mouth and nose and coughing as she couldn't avoid inhaling the gas.

"It's that fucking Jigsaw killer sonuvabitch! Fuck! How are we supposed to figure out which combination goes to which person?!" Surrounding them on the walls were sloppy written combinations, all of them she remembered writing on the walls in that fashion since that was what John's specific instructions were. Fuck, the gas was suffocating and everyone in the room was coughing uncontrollably and having trouble focusing.

She glanced at each combination, putting the first one in she spotted on the wall. "Shit!" she pulled violently at the lock, throwing her hands up before looking for the second, the others watching her. Before she put it in she looked up, throwing her hands out "What the fuck are you doing?! Do you want to sit here and die?! Fucking start putting them--" She started coughing uncontrollably, doubling over as she did so, everyone else in the room frantically rushing to put in the combinations themselves while trying to see through the billowing cloud of smoke. She finally got the second combination in, hearing the click of the lock as she grabbed it and tugged it open, throwing it across the room and unclasping the cuff from around her ankle. Holy shit, she never imagined that John would know all their employee numbers but the combination she just entered was just that. She looked around the room, having trouble seeing through the smoke before she looked at the clock down to 20 seconds. A buzzer sounded and the door was unlocked, swinging open voluntarily. She pushed herself up and quickly rushed towards it, stumbling as she got to it. She fell to her knees, hanging onto the frame of the door before throwing herself out of it, grabbing her shirt and bringing it up over her nose. She crawled across the hallway and part way down it, her back hitting the wall as she threw herself against it. She could hardly breathe and the pressure in her chest was unbearable, but as fresh air started to fill her lungs she could finally breathe easier, shivering as she did so. She heard one of her co-workers shout "It's your employee number!" before he came stumbling out the door.

Two more stumbled out and into the hallway, collapsing in the middle of it as the timer ticked down the last 5 seconds. The remaining co-worker in the room got the lock off, unsnapping the cuff and ran to the door as it slammed in his face. Her eyes went wide as the other three rushed towards the door, pulling on it, the green smoke violently rushing into the room now, filling it. His hand slammed into the glass before a spatter of blood he coughed up hit the window and his hand slid down before disappearing.

"Oh my fucking god JOE!!! NOOO!!!" Lisa pounded violently at the door, sobbing uncontrollably before stumbling backwards in the arms of Dylan who tried to comfort her. The loss of her best friend was devastating and she turned around in enough time to see a single tear run down Michelle's cheek before she turned her head away.

Oh god this was painful and the fact that she knew these people didn't help one bit. Her boss leaned against the wall next to her, resting his head on his arm and looking down at her in the darkness of the hallway, breathing heavy. "Where the hell have you been?"

"In hell." she closed her eyes for a moment, her head falling back against the wall before Dylan and Lisa joined them. "We gotta get the fuck out of here in two hours. Sitting around isn't going to get us where we need to go and I personally don't want to die in this hell hole." They looked at her a bit stunned as she pushed herself to her bare feet, the cold feeling of the floor chilling her to the bone - damnit John. She took one step forward, wincing and hopping back as she looked down at the ground noting the glass around them. Well wasn't that just great, not only was she without shoes, but she was going to have to step lightly and be able to see in what was really only the light of the moon shining through the window. Leaning down, she took hold of the shard in the heel of her foot and pulled it out, tossing it aside before stepping over the pile of glass and working her way slowly down the hallway. The others followed close behind her having to step carefully as well.

"Michelle…where are we going?"

"I have no clue, I'm just trying to find a way out, whatever direction that may be." Stopping at the end of the hallway she looked to the left and to the right, noting the staircase they needed to go down but not after realizing the other possibility was blocked. Guess John told her the truth when he said he left her plenty of clues to figure out how to survive here. Still, he hadn't told her a whole lot and she was playing this game just as much as the rest - her only advantage was that she had already played and knew the consequences of breaking the rules.

As they rounded the bend together at the bottom of the stairs they came to a door with the words "Suffering is for the weak?" scrawled across them with red paint. She very gingerly pressed her hands against the metal door before pushing the door open to a very brightly lit room with a table in the middle with 5 syringes sitting on it. As they all entered the door slammed shut behind them, locking. Dylan rushed the door, pushing on it forcefully before kicking it and screaming. "…that's not going to help. No one can hear us." he shot a dangerous look in her direction before she frowned and walked over to the table to a note. Picking up the note she read over it carefully before putting it back down and picking up a syringe. They all watched, suddenly screaming at her as she lifted her arm up and plunged it into her arm, cringing and depressing the plunger.

"What the hell are you doing?! That could be poison!"

"EASY! You think I'm that stupid? Look, the note said it was antidote to the gas we were exposed to and considering the number of syringes I'm not going to doubt the credibility. Look, you guys need this too, otherwise you're gonna die before we even find the damn door."

They all approached the table slowly, peering at the note before picking up the syringes and injecting themselves after arguing with her for a good 5 minutes about how the probability of it being a lie considering where they were was much higher. After they set them down on the table they all felt the constriction of their chests disappear and could finally breathe easier.

She looked at the fifth syringe on the table before taking it and placing it in the baggy pocket of the sweat pants she had on. Lisa was staring at her for a while before she finally looked back at her "What?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why you won't look any of us in the eye. What did they do to you Michelle? You look like you've been locked away in a dark room for months."

She sighed and shook her head, looking at the floor before looking up at the monitor in the left-hand corner of the room that buzzed on to provide them with the instructions for the next part of their test.


	6. Make A Choice

"Hello and welcome to your next test. I hope you are all prepared to learn the important lesson of sacrifice. In the next room you will be introduced to two individuals that all of you know personally. Just as you decide who lives and who dies by virtue of the nature of your work, you will do the same with two of your 'friends'. Who will you choose and will you all agree?"

As the door buzzed, it swung open violently, causing her boss to jump back before looking through it. Strewn throughout the room was the ominous glow of bombs in every corner before two lights buzzed on in the middle of the room, illuminating a young woman and an older man.

"Oh god. Cassidy." she spoke softly, but clearly the girl in the middle of the room heard her, turning her head to look over at her. The two were restrained to a pole in the middle of the room and in front of each of them was a large blade. She peered at the ceiling as the others rushed in to get a feel for what she was dealing with, having not been involved in setting this trap up. Each one had a release that was attached to a pulley that would require someone to take hold of it before it released. This was clearly a game of time and trust in each other. Every player needed to agree on which life to save otherwise they would all die in an explosion in the room. When she passed through the door it slammed shut behind her and she heard a clicking sound. The others had figured it out as well and Dylan rushed to grab the cord on Cassidy's pulley to stop it from engaging while Lisa and Richard grabbed the cord on Bob Rushman's pulley.

"Michelle fucking help me!" Cassidy screamed her name, snapping her back to reality as she ran over to help Dylan who was losing his footing. Grabbing hold of the cord with him, she realized the tension on the cord was intense, the flashing of the lights on the bombs causing her to tense. "You two have to fucking me kidding me! He told us why we were here for supporting rich fuckers like that bastard and you're going to save him?!"

"He's the fucking CEO of the company Dylan! Cassidy is just a fucking cashier." Richard snapped back, Lisa looking over at him and then to Dylan, groaning as she tried to keep the cord from slipping from her grip.

"Just a fucking cashier?! For christ's sake you selfish asshole she's a human being just like Mr. Rushman is!!! You care THAT little for the life of another person?" Michelle snapped viciously at her boss who glared daggers at her before the clicking sound heard caused all of them to lurch forward, the cords tightening and lowering the blades a little more - there were gears controlling their decision if they didn't make one quick.

"Lisa what the fuck are you doing supporting that crook?!" Dylan snapped at the blonde who was hysterically trying to figure out which side she should really be on.

"I don't want to lose my job you dick, okay?! Richard is my fucking boss just like he's yours!"

"We're all about to lose our fucking lives if we don't make a goddamn decision! I don't know about you Lisa but do you want to die with the realization that you let an innocent person die for the sake of that worthless, money laundering asshole!?" She was snapping as she looked over at the bombs again. If they didn't make a decision they would all leave here in tiny pieces.

"What the fuck are you talking about Michelle?!" Richard was grunting with the force he was putting behind the cord to try and stop it's movement entirely even though that wasn't going to happen.

"Will you all fucking shut up and get me the fuck out of here!!!"

"Fuck you asshole!! You can be spared, there's more then one of you fucking snakes working for the company! Pull harder you two!!"

"Pulling isn't going to change a fucking thing, shut up! All of you just shut up and listen to me!!!!" She had had enough as the clicking was heard again, pulling them all closer and bringing the blades closer to the bodies of the two victims. "Richard, Rushman has stolen so much money from the fucking company that it's billions of dollars in the fucking hole!!! The illusion of 'good business' has been the fucking game we've been playing! This asshole is the one who cuts the fucking salaries so he can pad his goddamn pockets with ease! He thinks all of us are a fucking number while he sits up in his plush office and watches us do his dirty work!"

"How do you know this?"

"I know a lot of things, now get the fuck over here so we don't all go up because of this stupid disagreement! One 'worthless' life to you is worth a lot more to many other people!" As she screamed over the screaming over Cassidy and Rushman, Lisa suddenly rushed over, grabbing the cord and they started to have a steadier hold on it, the clicking sounding again as Richard lurched forward and the three of them remained fairly stationary.

"No! I can't decide the fate of another person!"

"Then you just killed all of us!" Her words struck something in the man as he looked up at the 'innocent man' before him before letting go of the pulley and stepping back. The blade released and as Rushman cursed them all, it slammed into his body. The hideous amount of blood that splattered across Cassidy and everyone else was a grim reminder of just how serious this situation was. Dylan, Lisa, and Michelle stumbled backwards as the restraint around the middle of Cassidy's body released and she crumpled to the ground, the blade slamming into the metal pole where her body would have been.

Cassidy was hyperventilating, shivering on the floor and wheezing between her hysterical screams. The lights on the bombs ceased flashing, the timer on the wall stopped and for a moment Richard was soaked in the blood squirting from the lifeless body of the man before him that paid his salary. He was breathing hard and finally fell to his knees before him, soaked in his blood.

Soon enough they were all back on their feet, escorting each other out of the room. They made the most gruesome choice of their lives by simple statistics about a man's ill-gotten gain and careless behavior - it wasn't right, it wasn't fair, but this was Jigsaw's world.


	7. Follow My Instructions

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key. I keep it caged but I can't control it. 'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down. Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end? I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin. I must confess that I feel like a monster. I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun. I must confess that I feel like a monster. I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin. **I must confess that I feel like a monster. I, I feel like a monster. I, I feel like a monster**__. It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp. There's no escape for me, __**it wants my soul, it wants my heart**__. No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream. Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster._

Being exhausted meant making unnecessary mistakes and she fearful that she would fall victim to that within a sort period of time. At the moment she leaned against the wall, picking the small fragments of glass out of her arm that she could get with her fingernails. She looked up for a moment, unmoving and silent as she watched the mental and emotional breakdown of someone she spent many days working with.

Lisa was a fragile creature and clearly this whole ordeal was taking a huge toll on her. "You know…I should have seen this coming. I've done horrible things in my life. Oh god, I work for this horrible company, I slept with Richard to get the job--"

"Whoa! What?!" Dylan glared daggers at the young woman he thought he could trust, the woman he, well, loved while Michelle raised a brow very slowly, scoffing and smirking as she dropped her head.

"Wow Dick…guess the name is fitting."

"Watch your mouth." her boss pointed at her standing against the wall and she raised her hands in defense before returning to examining her arm and trying to find the remaining tiny shards in the room only illuminated by the moonlight.

"Lisa, how could you do that? Don't you have moral standards? Didn't it feel like a mistake to you to even think about it? Christ…" Cassidy was lucky enough to be alive at this juncture, criticizing another person based on a poor moral decision wasn't really within her jurisdiction.

She pushed off the wall, looking in the direction of the doorway before looking back to the bunch standing before her. "Staying here in this room is going to be the last mistake we all make. Look, we have to go and we have to get to the door in an hour. That's all the time we have left. Now we can stand here and discuss what everyone has done wrong in their lives and what they feel bad for or we can actually live to see dayight and contemplate the complexity of our lives later."

They all looked at her, Cassidy flinching and biting her bottom lip "Oh god there's more?! I can't do this! I can't do this again! No!!" She turned quickly on her heel and bolted through the door that had opened for them after her test, everyone shouting at her to stay.

Michelle bolted through the doorway after her - FUCK! She was about to go running through the dark with no idea what kind of disaster lay around the corner just to save the life of someone else. Was she really going to be a martyr? Was that necessary? John told her to make sure they followed the rules, not to sacrifice her life for someone else. The sensation of glass embedding into her feet was agonizing, but she managed to grab the back of her shirt. Cassidy stumbled forward with Michelle's momentum of pulling on her shirt and both of them tumbled to the ground. She heard that creaking sound and looked up fast enough to see a shotgun hovering over the doorway Cassidy was about to go through. Cassidy hit the trip wire and within a split second Michelle curled into the fetal position, covering her head as the deafening sound of the shotgun caused her ears to ring. There was no mistaking the feeling of something splattering on her and in spite of it all, seeing Cassidy's lifeless body roll to the side, the sight of her head blown to pieces brought back some of the most horrifying memories on her life. She screamed and started crawling backwards down the hallway, hyperventilating and shaking. When the others got to her Lisa cringed and turned away, bending down and grabbing Michelle by the shoulders.

"Michelle! Michelle oh god, calm down please…" she started to cry as she tried to calm down their only logical way out it seemed who was having a panic attack right in front of them.

Her boss Richard rushed over and grabbed her shoulders harshly, shaking her. "Snap out of it! That's not your father! Come on hold it together!"

Her frantic state of mind seemed to go blank after she reached up and grabbed his arms in response, digging her nails into them. She was trembling, wide-eyed and completely unresponsive.

"Michelle…listen to me, you gotta hold it together okay. We need you. You've been through this before, we need your help!! You have to save the rest of us! Do you want the death of everyone here on your conscience? Do you want to die?!" Richard let go and backed up slowly, Lisa doing the same as she looked him directly in the eyes, her breathing slowed to an eerie pace.

"Fuck you."

"Excuse me?"

"Fuck…you…" she pushed herself up off the floor, completely blank as she walked towards Cassidy's body and the trip wire. Bending down, she grabbed the end of the wire and then a shard of glass, cutting it to disable the device. Looking down at Cassidy's body she felt a chill run through her entire body - where the hell did she go? She didn't feel a thing like Michelle right now, instead she felt…cold, aggressive, and the fight instinct came into play. She looked over her shoulder at the three standing behind her and sneered, pointing to the doorway. "Do you want to fucking get out of here or not?! I'm not responsible for you! I'm not making your fucking decisions! This is a GODDAMN game about LIVING. Make your own FUCKING choices and stop depending on me!" Throwing her hands up she stepped over the lifeless body of her co-worker and into the hallway, following the arrows painted on the walls.

She realized halfway down the stairs that they weren't even behind her and the reality of the situation was that in that moment she understood that they were still the same selfish, unreliable individuals she had come to know them as years ago. "I guess some people never learn." she spoke only to herself as she rounded the corner and stepped through the "cage door", looking up to see a timer sitting above it. Glancing around the room she noticed she was standing in ankle high water. Looking around her and around the hallway she saw that all but one door was bolted shut. Taking hold of the knob, she slowly turned it and pushed it open, standing in the doorway and glancing at the glow of the single candle that was flickering on a table against the wall. Slowly she entered the room, waiting to hear the sound of a slamming door but when it didn't happen, she figured there was something more to this she wasn't seeing just yet. Walking over to the table she took hold of the handle on the drawer and pulled it open, tilting her head to the side confused as to the contents before her. Inside the drawer were two blood packets that she picked up and looked at in the flickering of the candle before pulling out the piece of paper sitting beside them.

"Place these on each side of your mouth, directly at the back of your cheek between your teeth. Be careful not to bite down. The next test will involve a highly volatile electrical current. This current will be coursing through all the boxes you saw in the hallway. Each box must be turned on, one at a time, to open the remaining gates extending down the hallway, which afterwards they will remain electrically charged. Everyone involved must make it through each gate as it opens…the reason why will become clear. The final door requires someone to take hold of the two wires in the box and connect them - this is your task. You will suffer an intense shock, however it will not be enough to kill you. It will cause the involuntary response for you to bite down, in turn causing the blood to spill from the packets. The shock will only last a short while, enough to cause the illusion of your death. Once the others have moved on you should awaken. Head back to this room and remove the cloak and mask. You will set the pace of the game from this point on by following the path through the asylum I have left for you. Do not hesitate to follow these instructions or they may be your last. - John"

She frowned and stepped back from the table with the packets in her hand, crumpling the paper up before walking back up to the table and holding it over the flame, dropping it onto the floor to watch it burn up into non-existence. She gingerly slipped one packet on each side, cringing at the uncomfortable sensation of them in her mouth and shifting them around with her tongue until she could talk normally - and just in time. She heard the voices of the others, sighing as she quickly exited the room and shut the door. This…this is what it all came down to. She was a pawn in his game to help set the pace - maybe not a pawn, but she felt guilty for being involved like this. She would lead them all to what could be their death and she would have to sleep tonight knowing that she was involved so much in this game that it started to become her own.


	8. Take This Life And Make it Yours

"Why the hell did you leave us back there?! What's your fucking problem?!" Dylan shoved her into the wall, holding tight to the collar of her shirt. She didn't make an effort to pull his hands away, instead she tilted her head back, glaring at him. "I'm fucking talking to YOU!"

He slammed her back into the brick and she winced a bit, closing one eye in response before leaning in towards him. "I'm not responsible for your life. Ever heard of survival of the fittest? This is a test of wits, will, and the need to live. I'm not dying for anyone."

"Clearly cause you let your fucking parents take the fall for you, right?"

"…burn in hell Dylan." she shoved him back, Richard grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him away, sneering at the young man.

"Christ Dylan! Stop being such a fucking asshole. Leave her alone."

"Thanks Richard, but I don't want someone to defend me. I can take care of myself." She was cold and cynical but it was only because of the cord Dylan struck within her. As Lisa entered the doorway she looked over to a cabinet tipped onto it's side and grabbed the tape recorder sitting there, shaking as she hesitated to depress the button.

"Oh god…why are we standing in water?"

"…I guess it's part of the game." Michelle looked over at the young blonde, placing a hand on her back and rubbing it as Dylan grabbed the recorder from her and pressed 'play'.

"Electricity can be a tricky thing. When someone doesn't follow the rules of the game they can end up in a precarious situation. You've all made it this far by drowning the lives of innocent men, women, and children. Extending down this hallway are five doors that you must open to safely make it into the next cage. On the walls are electrical boxes to open each door. There is electrically charged metal hanging above your heads. You must make it through all the doors within 30 seconds. If you fail to do so you will be electrocuted. Be warned, playing with electricity in ankle deep water is a dangerous thing. Let the games begin."

A buzzer sounded and the door behind them snapped shut, all of them jumping and turning to look at it as the clock started to tick down. They all looked at one another before Richard was the first to rush to the electrical box on the wall in the first room. He grabbed the handle and pushed it up to open the door, gasping as a current surged through his body, causing him to convulse before letting go and falling into the water. He looked up to see the chain holding the metal pole release, dropping quickly. Michelle grabbed Richards arm, diving through the doorway with the other two and as it slammed shut the unmistakable sound of electricity coursing through the room was heard. She was soaked now which didn't bode well for the end of this game but she couldn't leave Richard to sit there in the water after getting a mild shock and die.

Dylan ran to the next box and hit the lever, suffering his own shock before grabbing Lisa's arm and dragging her through the door, Michelle and Richard following quickly afterwards. The third and fourth room both men took control of suffering the shock for the sake of the women till they ended up in the fifth room.

She shuddered at the thought of what this would feel like but what other choice did she have? Dylan hit the switch and realized it didn't work. "What the fuck?! Shit!!!"

Richard pushed him out of the way, trying himself and kept switching it up and down, looking up to watch the chain above their heads extending down towards them slowly. "It's fucking broken!"

She pushed Richard aside in spite of his pleading that she not touch it and opened the front of the box, looking at the disconnected wire the would operate it and hesitated for a moment. They had 5 seconds otherwise they were all going to die and she wasn't going to live with that on her conscience. She grabbed the handle, switched it to the 'ON' position and then took hold of the two wires - oh god, this was going to hurt like hell afterwards. She closed her eyes tightly and touched the two exposed ends together and the shock was instantaneous. Unfortunately with the lack of time they had, the others rushed right through the door having taken hold of it trying to shake it open when they felt it was all over. They stumbled over themselves as the chain above dropped into the puddle of water. Her whole body convulsed with the shock as she bit down on the packets involuntarily, blood pouring out the side of her mouth before the electrical current stopped and she collapsed into the water. With the open door the water started to leech out and trail down the stairs, the three "survivors" staring on in horror while Lisa screamed uncontrollably, bringing her hand up to her mouth. She got more then she anticipated when the chain fell into the water but as soon as the door opened, the shock at least ceased - too bad it hit her so hard her heart stopped. She lay motionless in the water, the red tinge from the blood that was partially the packets and partially her own making gruesome patterns.

"Oh my god!! Oh my god she's dead!!"

"Holy shit…she just died for us…fuck!!! How are we gonna get out of here now?!" Richard and Lisa shot Dylan a cold glare before looking back to her motionless body, Lisa sobbing.

"…she died for us…and we let her do it! We're terrible people! He's gonna fucking kill us now!!!"

"He planned that before this…we have to move, otherwise no one's getting out of here alive." Richard looked at the arrows painted on the walls and pointed to them before placing a hand on Lisa's back and guiding her down the stairs.

Dylan stood there for a few more minutes, just looking at her lying there before he followed the others down the hallway.

_Back at the lair John leaned forward in the chair, looking at the clock on the wall before looking back at the motionless body of Michelle lying in the water. Amanda and Hoffman were silent, watching John's reaction. She still wasn't moving and it was bothering him - he saw that she took a much higher voltage then he intended, but at the same time, anticipating the game with four different decisions that could be made by four different people was difficult. They stalled too long and she took the fall for them, a selfless act that John wasn't too keen on her taking on. "Get up." he growled out the command as if he were standing in front of her, urging her to get up and continue on. John was worried, he couldn't help himself. He didn't want her to die in this game, he didn't want her to die before him…she deserved much more but he also couldn't let worry and sympathy take over his rational thinking in regards to the game._

"_She's not moving John." Amanda looked over at John who refused to look away from the monitor, sighing and looking back at the monitor herself once she realized he wasn't interested in talking at the moment. _

_**Finally**…movement._

Pushing herself up off the ground, she gasped for air, coughing to expel the water from her lungs and get whatever precious oxygen she could. She spit the packets out before hacking and buckling over in pain, coughing up a rather large quantity of blood. Wincing, she tilted her head to the side with her eyes closed before trying to stand. She was shaking uncontrollably and by the time she got up she stumbled into the wall, bracing herself against it and resting her head on the cool brick surrounding her. She was breathing hard, her heart racing at a painful speed that caused her to clutch her chest in agonizing pain. "Ugggh, god." she stumbled into the box, grabbing onto the handle to support herself as her legs gave out underneath of her, her forehead pressed against the metal. She was soaked, cold, and couldn't control her own motor functions at the moment.

For a good five minutes she had to stand there, still, unmoving, silent as she tried to regain her motor function and acquire a normal heart rate. It was after that time there her heart finally stopped pounding out of her chest, her breathing had returned to normal, and she was finally able to stand up without shaking. She hit the breaker behind the last door that opened to open all the other doors that closed, then she continued to slide her hand down the wall to brace herself just incase before she opened the door to the other room and stepped inside, looking over at the cabinet and opening it up. She put the cloak on over her soaking wet clothes which helped warm her up since she had been freezing before the water. She also pulled on the black boots that would stop her from inadvertently stepping on glass in the hallway and pulled on the black gloves inside the pocket. The last thing she took out of the cabinet was the mask, looking it over before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her. She looked up at the camera in the hallway and held up her middle finger, clearly annoyed before placing the mask on, pulling the hood up, and heading down the hallway, disappearing into the darkness with ease.

_John smirked in spite of himself at her blatant display of distaste over what just happened to her and finally relaxed - but only a bit, now she was calling the shots…and Hoffman was there to hopefully help and not cause harm; he hoped the detective learned his lesson by now._


	9. Teacher's Pet

_I hang my hopes out on the line. Will they be ready for you in time? If you leave them out too long they'll be withered by the sun. Full stops and exclamation marks, my words stumble before I start. How far can you send emotions? Can this bridge cross the ocean? I'm going in for the kill, I'm doing it for a thrill. Oh I'm hoping you'll understand and not let go of my hand._

She stepped through the door and very gingerly, silently pushed it shut behind her while still holding onto the knob. When she turned around she was a bit taken aback by the appearance of Hoffman sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his thighs and his hands clasped together. She grabbed the snout of the pig mask and slowly pulled it up over her head, her hair falling around her face and shoulders in a wet mess.

Hoffman grinned a bit rising from his chair and slowly approaching her. She was motionless there by the door as if the perfect helpless victim. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he approached her, a shit-eating smirk across his stony features. By the time he was inches away from her she had pulled a blade from inside one of the inner pockets of the cloak that just "happened" to be there it seemed and held it out towards him. "Easy tigress. I'm not doing anything to you, but you're gonna help me." Reaching out he grabbed the blade and yanked it from her hand, closing it up and turning his back to her, walking over to the small table he was sitting near and placing it on top. He was dressed in black from head to toe, wearing his own pair of gloves.

"What do you mean I'm helping you?" she started to walk away from the door and follow him, pulling one of the gloves off to lift up the sleeve of the cloak on the arm that still had a few pesky shards of glass in it to try and pick them out.

"I mean we have work to do. John's orders. You wouldn't want to disappoint him now would you?" He turned around and approached her, grabbing her sleeve and pulling it down before pulling her glove out of her adjacent hand and holding it up to her. "There's time for that later, right now we have three subjects to get set up in the final trap for your 'buddy' Richard."

"He was my boss and nothing more Mark. Who are these three people?"

"I'll tell you while we work." he was short and brash, still struggling to behave himself around her even with the consequences he faced. He would love to tie her down to something and watch her get mutilated and see John's little plans fall to pieces, but enough of that, he would suffer dearly if he even tried that right now. Lesson learned - for the time being. He motioned for her to follow him and she trailed behind him through another door leading down a back hallway. As they weaved in and out of various obstacles and rooms he couldn't help but to look back at her from time to time and imagine what it would be like to watch her scream in agony. Focus Hoffman, focus. He stopped before a door and looked over at her as she slowly bridged the distance between them and waited patiently.

"What makes John think Richard is going to be the only survivor?"

"Because he's selfish and cares little about anyone else, you said it yourself."

"You've been watching? This is bull--"

"Enough. Listen to me." he unlocked the door, pushing it open to reveal three individuals who were covered in black blankets lying on rusty old hospital beds. Once she entered the room he shut the door behind her, pausing just like she did at the blood curdling scream heard not far from them, followed by another and then dead silence ensued. Her heavy hearted sigh made him doubt she would handle this next task well, but it was what John wanted and after his little run in for what he did to her, he was at his every beck and call. "Alright." he lifted up the blankets, exposing the figures of two women and one young boy.

For a moment she stood motionless before approaching slowly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth and she audibly groaned in agony, her face contorting to a look of pure shock and disdain. "No. Oh god I can't do this. Olsen…Belinda…"

"You're going to have to. Let's get this into perspective alright? Clearly you know Richard's son and his wife but I bet you also know this woman. Think about it, get a good look at her."

"……..Tracy? What…what do they all have to do with one another?"

"Tracy's a co-worker right?" he saw her nod her head in acknowledgement before he smirked and grabbed her arm to force her to stand in front of the three unconscious bodies before them. "Get a good long look. Apparently your boss has been having an affair with your co-worker for the better part of 10 years. No exaggerations here either. To make matters worse he's been taking the money for his son's college fund to spend it on this woman. He forced Tracy to have an abortion when he found out she was pregnant with his child to try and protect what little family life he had left. His wife and son have been taking care of themselves while he spends his 'late work nights' with her in a house that he bought with the money he got off the death of his father whom Tracy poisoned in order to get the money from Richard." He saw the changing looks that melded into something of distaste, confusion, sympathy, and horror.

"I don't…I…Jesus Christ what the hell is wrong with the world?! So now I'm going to contribute by putting his only fucking child and his wife in harms way to teach him a goddamn lesson? No way. No, I'm done. I will not have someone else's life destroyed by my hands. Who cares if it's their fucking choice, I'm forcing them to make one!!" She threw her hands up, furious with everything she heard and even more so with everything swirling through her mind. She couldn't do this, she couldn't get involved like this - it wasn't okay, it wasn't right, it was--

"If you walk out that door John will find you and when he does he will be furious with you. He's making the choice, not you. You're giving him options. Don't be irrational right now." He didn't have to, but he was warning her and warning her very clearly - she wasn't done with the game just yet. She was still playing and if she didn't play by the rules, her very life could end with ease. She was playing a game of "chance" by thinking that perhaps she could leave here alive without ending up in peril somewhere down the line. "What about all those scars you have, huh? They ring any bells?"

She stopped short of leaving the room, standing at the door and looked down at her wrists; scars from years ago. She reached up under the cloak and brushed her fingers against the bullet wounds always a reminder and then trailed her hand down to stomach and brought her fingers under her tank top just to feel them again. John saved her that night when he could have let her bleed to death on the floor. He could have just let her die but he didn't want her to. "…damnit." she turned around and started making her way back over to Hoffman as he grinned from ear-to-ear. So John was the way to manipulate her, to twist a knife in her heart until she couldn't take the pain anymore.

He waited till she was back at his side before motioning to Olsen. "Get the boy and follow me. I've got these two." He picked both women up, hoisting them over his shoulders before pushing a place on the wall to reveal a door and ducked down to step through it with her following with Olsen in her arms. He may have been a kid, but he was 13 years old and growing and a bit heavy. As they entered the room, she looked around, both in awe and shock at the sheer detail and function of this trap. Just by looking at everything that was used to put it together she could tell that the diabolical nature of it would not go unnoticed. This was a machine designed to kill and that was perfectly clear. Hoffman motioned for her to set Olsen down inside a cage on the floor and after she did so, she shut the door, dropping her head as she picked up the lock to lock it. Was she really going to do this to some innocent boy that she knew personally? What about Belinda? Sighing, she placed the lock on the door and clasped it shut, turning around to see Hoffman finishing up placing both women in the trap before he turned to face her.

He motioned for her to follow him back through the wall and then closed the door behind him, tossing her mask to her. "Put it on, we have to ensure the rules are followed." He placed his own on and as she was fidgeting with putting her mask on he stopped when they were shoulder to shoulder, forcefully grabbing her cloak and pulling her close. There was a camera but with the lighting in the room and the location he grabbed her, he hoped John was not aware of their uncomfortable contact. He growled, husky and in a whispering tone in her ear "Don't think for one second I forgot what you did. I warned you and trust me, I will have my revenge. Watch your back cause when John dies, you're all mine." He shoved her forcefully making it look as though she tripped over the chair and opened the door, turning to face her and speaking in a muffled voice through the mask "Let's go."


	10. Just Like You

Amanda was enjoying the time she had with John all to herself except for one very tiny little detail - he was so overwhelming consumed with the game and making sure everything worked out the way he had anticipated that he had hardly spoken to her. She sat indian style in the chair, gripping her ankles as she peered at the screen before her watching Michelle and Mark weave in and out of the hallways after the two remaining survivors. In spite of her distaste for the girl she couldn't help but appreciate the effort she was putting in, especially in this instance where she watched her dodge a punch from the firecracker Dylan when he realized the two of them were following him and Richard. "Wow." she leaned forward as John leaned over to see what she was referring to, cringing as Michelle forcefully shoved him through a doorway before taking off up a set of stairs with Hoffman trailing behind her, leading the two to the next trap.

Amanda and John both directed their attention to the next screen as Richard and Dylan came into view, both kicking and punching the heavy door that slammed shut behind them. Hadn't they learned already that that wasn't going to do anything? They had to play, surely they got that point through their thick skulls. She looked over at John to see his attention diverted to the monitor that showed Michelle and Hoffman stepping into a room. The girl on the screen reached up to rip off the mask, leaning over with her hands on her thighs and clearly breathing hard before she coughed and a noticeable spatter of blood appeared on the floor.

"_Shit. My damn insides feel like they're on fire. Poison plus electricity is a horrible combination."_

"_Not to mention you almost got completely fried. Those two morons stalled too long and you got a lot more then John anticipated." Hoffman removed his gloves as he looked over his shoulder at the young woman clearly having a bit of a hard time keeping up with the pace - though remarkably she was handling business appropriately. _

"_I just want to get out of here and sleep this off for the next week. I don't think I'll ever live down being responsible like this. Call it whatever you want, this is about as bad as it gets for me." She waved a hand dismissively before standing upright and tilting her head back with her eyes closed for the moment. She was freezing when she should be warm by now and had the most atrocious chills in the world. It was bad enough being where she was but she was damn sure at this point that she was getting sick._

"_You'll live." Mark grinned as he nudged her with his elbow before walking over to a chair in the middle of the room and sitting in it. "Now to play the waiting game."_

John leaned back in his chair looking over at Amanda who didn't catch herself staring before it was too late. "Amanda?" he tilted his head to the side wanting to know what it was his young apprentice wished to say to him.

She bit her bottom lip for a moment and looked at the screen to see the two idiots starting the next game before looking back at John. She fidgeted with her hands, interweaving her fingers for quite a while before slumping into the back of the chair and just letting it out. "Why is she doing this for you? You aren't making her your apprentice, are you?"

John chuckled and shook his head, looking at the monitor briefly before looking back at Amanda. "Absolutely not. She's not capable of handling this much further then what she's doing right now. I just wanted to _test _her faith in me. You have nothing to worry about my child. She's here for a much different purpose."

"And that would be?" she saw the look he gave her, one that asked if she questioned her faith in him and of course she didn't. She would believe John if he told her the sky was purple, but she felt as if this 'other woman' was invading her turf - shame on you Amanda for getting so possessive. John simply got up from the chair, walking past her but not before putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. She sighed and looked to the monitor in enough time to see blood spatter everywhere and the last remaining survivor exiting the room limping, clearly injured from his last ordeal. She then saw Michelle and Hoffman exiting the room they were in, no longer with masks but still wearing all black to conceal themselves and creep into the room the two men had just been 'guided' into.

_Stepping in through the door, she cringed and brought her arm up to her face, making a face that clearly marked that she was horrified by the bloody mess on the floor. It wasn't just the blood from Dylan's lifeless body, but also from the various cadavers used to 'set the stage' so to speak. She slowly approached Dylan's lifeless body, tilting her head to the side to see the poor boys head completely smashed in. "Sick…" she tried to keep herself from feeling sick but soon buckled, coughing and shaking._

"_You can't handle a little blood?" Hoffman smirked and shook his head, looking around the room to make sure their last survivor got the necessary clues for his next game._

"_Blood is easy, okay asshole? But mutilated bodies, holes blown or otherwise drilled through bodies, and--" she slowly stepped back, shaking her head, disgusted "--splattered brains are not my strong suits. Sorry, serial killing just isn't my game." She looked over at the detective before he motioned for her to come over to him and as she approached he placed a hand on her back causing her to tense for a moment. _

_He pointed down the hallway "Alright, listen carefully. I'm not going with you to this, I'm heading back to get John. You need to go down there and turn right and enter the first door and make sure that Richard follows the instructions of his game. There's a monitor inside so you can watch, you understand? Don't fuck this up or John's gonna be pissed. And don't let your soft fucking heart get in the way, be a goddamn rock-hard bitch. Remember, everyone has a choice and we're not making it for them." He gave her a shove in the right direction, watching her disappear into the darkness before turning around and heading through the door they entered._

Amanda got up, pushing her chair back and wandering down the stairs to see John getting a glass of water. "John. Hoffman's on his way back, she's at the last test." John nodded to her in acknowledgement before taking a drink of his water from a straw (something that was uniquely compulsive for John). He told her to get ready so she disappeared to go grab her coat and wait for Hoffman's arrival.


	11. Going In For The Kill

_False starts and exclamation marks, my words stumble before I start. How far can you send emotions? Can this bridge cross the ocean? __**I'm going in for the kill**__, I'm doing it for a thrill. Oh I'm hoping you'll understand and not let go of my hand._

Richard stepped lightly, hearing the sound of glass crackling underneath his boots as he headed to his next test via the clues given to him in the last one. He hated to kill Dylan but he was determined to see the daylight again in his life. Had he learned anything? Sure, he could convince other people of that, right? But was any of this truly a test of his own ill-gotten gains in this life? He would find out very shortly how wrong he was to believe everything else was the true test of his learning a life lesson. As he approached the final door at the end of the hallway before the one bolted before him he looked down at the floor noticing a baseball cap that was dirty, wet, and tattered. He picked it up before brushing off the logo on the front that he noticed under the grime to see his son's baseball team. His eyes went wide and he looked up at the door. "You sonuvabitch if you have my fucking son…!!!" He stepped back and kicked it in, slowly peering around in the darkness, unable to see a thing before walking through very slowly. The door he kicked slammed shut behind him once he was all the way into the room and three lights buzzed on, illuminating three different people in the room. Before his brain could collect all the information that was overwhelming it, he heard the voices of his wife and son, shouting for help and then the familiar voice of Tracy, his mistress. All around the room was littered with corpses of bodies that were clearly already dead for some time, the odor in the room overwhelming, and the horrifying way in which each individual died was different. He looked back over to the two women and his son before the monitor buzzed on in the top right corner, the unmistakable face of that demonic puppet he remembered from earlier peering at him through the darkness.

"Hello Richard. For 10 years you have not only become one of the highest paid and most respected members of your company but you have also been living a double life. One with your wife and one with your mistress. Throughout your marriage to your wife you have neglected not only a woman who cares for you beyond comparison but you have neglected the needs of your son who only wishes to have his father in his life. I know of at least one other individual in this world who would have died for the chance to have their father by their side, but you say it's just business. Late night phone calls to your wife are used to convince her that you're working to pay the bills when you are simply working on more personal aspects. You were even away of Tracy's plan to kill your ailing father for the inheritance money that you selfishly spent on yourself and her. What about your son's college fund? The money you and your wife struggled to save in those days before your well paying job has been squandered away on the other woman in your life. Perhaps you also would like to explain to your wife the plan you and your mistress have had to poison her in order to end her life and take the insurance money to further the greed you both know so well. Do you really want your wife to die? Tonight you'll show me what's more important to you - the family you neglect or the woman you forced to give up the child you helped create. Murder is murder, no matter the way in which it occurs. When the timer starts you will have 60 seconds to make a choice. Each woman you see before you will have a deadly drug that you sell injected into their systems slowly, essentially killing them if you do not find the key to unlock their restraints and remove them from their chair. Or are you able to save the life of both of them before the drug courses through their veins and stops their hearts? If you fail to free them the door to this room will lock permanently and this room will become your tomb. Also you must find the key to free your son from his cage so that he does not die with you. I'll give you a hint: the keys are hidden within the stomachs of those surrounding you. Will you selflessly save the lives of others or will you do what comes natural and only look out for yourself? Let the game begin."

As the TV buzzed off Richard watched the timer turn on and start to count down. He was only snapped out of his daze by the screaming of both women as needles were plunged into their backs and the deadly drug was slowly starting to pump in through IVs. "MOTHERFUCKER!" he threw his hands up, looking at his wife with tears streaming down her face.

"How could you Richard!? How could you do that to us!? I hate you!!!"

He quickly looked to Tracy who's mascara stained her face as she sobbed. "Baby…I love you save me! You don't fucking need that stupid cunt! She doesn't love you like I do!!! She's worthless!!!" He put his hand to his head, pacing a moment before realizing his time was counting down quickly and started to rush towards the dead bodies in the room. He looked down beside the first one he came to where there was a scalpel and quickly picked it up, cringing at the odor from the rotting flesh before plunging the scalpel into his stomach, tearing him open and plunging his hands into the corroded insides of the body, tearing the stomach open to find a key. None. He quickly rushed on to the next one and the one following that as more of the drug was pumped into the bodies of both women. They screamed in pain, his son screaming for his mother within the confines of his cage. At the fourth body he finally found a key, fumbling with it for a bit before rushing over to Tracy first, trying to insert the key into the lock to save her. "FUCK!" it didn't work so he quickly rushed to his wife, trying the key in her lock but nothing happened. The next was his son's cage and once again, nothing was happening. He threw the key down, hands slippery with blood, and rushed to the next dead body.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" his wife screamed at him as the next painful injection of the drug entered her body causing her to throw her head back. The screaming cries of her son caused her to be strong, looking over at her boy and calling his name. "Olsen look at me. I love you. I'm so proud of you. Please, whatever happens…" she started to sob as she spoke to her son who reached through the bars towards his mother.

Richard found the next key, running to Tracy first and managed to get it to work, unlocking the lock as he pulled her from the chair. The young woman collapsed to the ground, unable to respond as she lay on the floor sobbing and trembling as the effects of the drug started to course through her body. "Tracy? Tracy get up! Fuck I don't have time for this!" He left her there and rushed to the next body hearing his son screaming for his mother, instantly feeling guilty for freeing Tracy first and not the mother of his child. Ripping the next key out of the body he searched, he rushed over to his wife, but he was unfortunately too late. He fussed with the key in the lock only to hear her scream as the last bit was injected into her body.

She started to convulse, practically foaming at the mouth before she coughed, blood seeping down the sides of her mouth. The last thing she heard was the scream of her son as she started to convulse violently, blood seeping from out of her nose, eyes, and mouth, collapsing in the chair. Richard screamed, pawing frantically at the face of his wife who didn't respond, hearing the screams of his son as he proclaimed how much he hated his father as he sobbed for the loss of his mother. Richard collapsed to his knees at his wife's lifeless feet, sobbing and putting his face in his hands. "…what have I done…" He looked over at Tracy's body only to notice that blood was seeping from her mouth as well. He rushed to her side, hoisting her up into his arms as he kneeled on the ground, her head lolling around as she mumbled to herself before convulsing violently and spitting blood in his face as she died, unable to handle the affects of the amount of the drug that was present in her blood stream. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!! I'LL KILL YOU YOU SORRY SONUVABITCH!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, looking at the clock to realize he had 10 seconds left to find the key to his son's cage and get out of the room. He was emotionally destroyed, unable to get up and sitting on the floor sobbing. His son screamed his name repeatedly but got no answer, grabbing the bars of his cage and pulling violently.

The boy was surprised by the appearance of a shadowy figure that rushed in out of nowhere, crouching down in front of his cage to unlock it. As they reached in for the terrified boy Richard came up behind them, grabbing them by the throat and throwing them back. Olsen scrambled out of the cage towards the door, rushing out of it and leaving his father there to wrestle with the person in the room.

Richard grabbed the ankle of the person trying to flee and drug them to him, grabbing them by the back of the shirt before flinging them into the wall. As they hit the wall, they collapsed to the floor, trying to push themselves up only to get kicked violently in the ribs. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'LL KILL YOU!!!" He gave them a hard kick in the head, watching them bring their hand up to hold their head after it happened before holding out their hand as if to try and stop him. He grabbed their wrist, lifting them off the ground and grabbed the front of the cloak they wore, rushing them back towards the wall, slamming their back violently into the brick. The timer ticked down, the door that Olsen exited slamming shut from the boy leaving it open and the click of the bolt locking was heard. "If I'm dying in here I'm taking you with me you sick fuck!" He jammed the scalpel in his hands into their shoulder blade and as they screamed, reaching up to try and grab it out he threw the perpetrator into the pile of scrap metal in the corner. The next scream he heard sounded like a horribly wounded animal as he watched shaky hands rise up. He was so blinded by his rage that he didn't hear his name being called as he rushed the figure in the corner.

She had no other choice, she was going to die in here when she only intended to try and save this selfish bastard's son from death. Olsen was going to grow up without a mother, a terrible fate she learned already and if Richard didn't stop, Michelle was going to die here in this asylum. She quickly grabbed the closest thing and held it up to try and defend herself, Richard running into the sharp metal and accidently impaling himself. "Richard!" she screamed his name as she watched him double over, impaled on the metal she held in shaking hands, his body started to go limp as it had gone straight through his stomach, grabbing hold of it and finally without eyes blinded by anger he saw the face of Michelle before him. "…oh god…I didn't mean…shit…" she stuttered as he reached for her before sputtering and collapsing lifelessly. She didn't have the strength to push him away so he collapsed on top of her, causing the metal through her side to dig in deeper and she gasped, throwing her head back and hissing through her teeth.

When it was all over she suddenly realized the severity of the injury she suffered, pulling her hand away to see it coated in blood. She didn't know how much longer it would be before Hoffman and John arrived, all she knew is here, in the darkness she suddenly became a savior and a murderer in the same day.


	12. It's Never That Simple

The trio entered the asylum half an hour later, Amanda immediately noticing the young boy trembling in the corner behind the remainder of the front desk in the lobby. She looked to John who looked around for the boy's father or mother or even Michelle noticing that he was the only one present - that wasn't a good sign. John nodded to Amanda sending her off with a tranquilizer to put the boy to sleep so he could be dropped off outside the hospital on the way before he told Hoffman to hit the breaker in the basement and get some lights on.

He started to make his way to the door that led to the last trap, just down the hallway from the lobby and stopped before it waiting for Hoffman to hit the breakers. The lights buzzed on above his head before the door buzzed the bolt unlocked, John slowly opening it. For the first few moments he saw nothing out of the ordinary as he looked at the dead bodies of the two women on the floor. That was when he heard the groaning, looking around the room for the source. When he pinpointed its location in the dark corner of the room he waited for Amanda to join him, slowly approaching. At first he thought he saw the body of Richard alone, dying in the corner, but then realized he was impaled on something - well that was odd, that wasn't how John set up the--

"Oh my god, John!" Amanda put her hand over her mouth and quickly reached down, grabbing the back of Richard's shirt and tried to haul him off, John quickly joining after he realized what she was so shocked over and with both of them involved, they were able to pull him off. Michelle lay there in the pile of metal, her chest rising and falling to indicate that she was at least still breathing but it was clear that she was rather beat up. The side of her face was covered in blood and more so the large metal object rising out of her side was clear indication that something went terribly wrong.

"Amanda, hold her up, we have to get this out." Amanda did as commanded because even though she hated this girl and wanted nothing more then to see her die, she realized she was important to John and could see the concern wrought across his features. As she lifted her up, her eyes opened and she hissed, grabbing Amanda's shirt and balling it up in her fist, crying out as John removed the jagged metal. Amanda drug her out of the darkness, Michelle shoving violently against her to get her to let go, placing her hand down on the floor and trying desperately to hold herself up.

Michelle twisted to the side, moaning as she placed a hand on her side, shuddering from the pain as John placed a hand on her back, tilting his head to try and look her in the face.

"What happened?" he was clearly upset at the condition he found her but what bothered him most was that she shouldn't have been in the room in the first place. "I gave you specific instructions, why didn't you follow them?"

"…christ John, I couldn't let Olsen die. Oh god I'm gonna get sick this hurts so bad." She struggled to look him in the eyes, John shaking his head and frowning at her as he reached up, touching the side of her face covered in blood as she winced in response. "…I fucking killed him…oh god…I shouldn't--"

"Easy, slow down. What do you mean? Who did you kill?" John was now even more concerned, unsure on how she could say she killed someone when clearly she was in worse shape then Richard's lifeless body was save for the impalement.

"I killed--I killed--Richard." she started to breathe very heavily, almost as if she were about to hyperventilate, shivering as she felt the tears from the guilt overwhelming her - more so thinking of what John would do to her now that she murdered some man he was testing. "He attacked me when I freed Olsen. Slammed me into the wall…threw me into the metal…I thought he was going to kill me…he was going to kill me."

"That's called self defense Michelle, my god. You're beat to shit, you just--"

"Enough Amanda. I'll handle this." John put a finger under Michelle's chin to force her to look at him, clearly seeing the agonizing pain in her eyes. "You did one thing wrong and that was get involved. Nothing else, do you hear me? Now stop this. You're getting worked up for nothing. We'll discuss this later and I'm not mad at you." When she nodded in response John was satisfied, more worried about her condition then upset at her for what had happened - disappointed was more the word, but he couldn't blame her for trying to save the life of an innocent child no matter how he looked at it. As Hoffman entered the room he motioned for him to come over and assist, both of them lifting her up off the ground and as Hoffman backed off, John supported her. He took one step and had to hold tighter to her as she collapsed, unable to walk without groaning in pain. Hoffman rejoined and grabbed her other arm as both men walked her out of the room, taking their time so they went at the pace she was able to maintain. As they entered the lobby Amanda picked up the boy and exited with them, Hoffman opening the door for her to slide into the backseat with the boy.

Michelle had herself propped up against the side of the car trying to accomplish "mind over matter" with her pain at the moment before John and Hoffman both helped her get into the front seat of the car. She cringed and collapsed into the seat, her head falling back against the headrest. They got to the hospital as Hoffman parked far away, Amanda running the boy to the front of it and leaving him there as she took off towards the car and slid back into the backseat with John. Hoffman looked over to the passenger's side to see Michelle out cold - at least she was breathing normally. They headed back to the lair, Hoffman ending up carrying Michelle through the front door as she was too exhausted to even open her eyes when he tried to shake her awake. He carried her into the room and laid her down on the hospital bed as John entered behind him.


	13. It All Starts Here

**- - flashback - -**

_I never thought I'd feel this guilty and I'm broken down inside. Living with myself, nothing but lies. I always thought I'd make it but never knew I'd let it get so bad. Living with myself is all I have. I feel numb, I can't come to life, I feel like I'm frozen in time. Living in a world so cold, wasting away. __**Living in a shell with no soul **__since you've gone away. Living in a world so cold, counting the days since you've gone away. You've gone away._

Daylight broke in the city, light peeking through the slats of the wooden blinds on her windows and peering in at the motionless body on the couch. Slowly she brought a hand up to her forehead, groaning with the grogginess left over from the serious overdose of pills that were still scattered across her table. It took a good 5 minutes before her eyes fluttered open to peer at the face of her cat who proceeded to rub against her face in greeting, mewling softly. Gently nudging him off to the side she pushed herself up into a sitting position, her head hanging as she tried to wake up. Normally it wasn't this hard, but the more times she did this, the harder it got - eventually she wouldn't even wake up if she kept up this behavior. She shrugged the blanket off of her shoulders, looking at it for a while trying to figure out how it got on top of her since she didn't ever remember having the time to cover herself up before she fell into a world of darkness and silence in her drug induced comma.

It took her two hours and she still was extremely groggy so she decided a cold shower would help. Thankfully the cold water cascading down her body shocked her back into full consciousness before she quickly turned the temp up, closing her eyes and tilting her head back as the water pelted her face. She dropped her head and brought her hands up, wiping the water from her face and pushing her hair back. Placing a hand on the shower wall she leaned forward, staring at the drain in the bottom of the shower, trying to figure out how to fix all of this before she killed herself. Stepping out of the shower she grabbed her towel, drying her hair before she paused, wide-eyed gaze pinned on the mirror of her bathroom. "What…the fuck…" she slowly started to pad towards it, a trail of wet footprints following behind her. On her mirror, written in pale pink lipstick were the words 'Open Your Eyes'. She came up to the sink, leaning against it as she saw the lipstick lying in the bottom of the sink. Someone got into her house last night, but…nothing was gone…what the hell was going on? She quickly dried herself and got dressed, making sure to call the cops who arrived shortly afterwards to take down a statement, check her apartment for anyone hiding, and when nothing was found they told her to be cautious of her surroundings before leaving.

She was a little frazzled so she decided that perhaps spending her day off in the city was a better plan. She could relax, do a little window shopping, and feel safe without being all alone in her apartment. She took her cat over to the 75 year old woman that lived next to her who was more then happy to have a companion for the day before locking him and heading to the subway. As she entered the busy streets of the city she felt at least a small sense of comfort. It was a beautiful day, a little chilly but comfortable without a coat - these were the days she loved the most. She stopped to grab herself a coffee, sitting down at a table in the back as she tried to figure out who the hell was in her house and why that didn't steal anything or even worse, kill her; she wouldn't have put up a fight, that was for damn sure. With the cup of coffee between both her hands, she raised it up to her lips to take a sip before someone approached the table "Is this seat taken?" Looking up, she smiled, shaking her head and motioning for them to sit down.

"John. What are you doing here? I've never seen you here before." She glanced at the older man who sat down across from her, faking a bit of a smile before taking another sip.

"Oh I come here from time to time. I guess we never cross paths. I was just in town and when I saw you I figured you could use some company." John studied the young woman before him, that warm smile of hers was clearly not as inviting as it usually was. He took a sip of the coffee he had and leaned back in the chair. "Is everything alright? You look…very drained."

"Oh. Yeah, I'm just tired. I didn't wake up well and I found out that some creep was in my apartment last night." She nursed her coffee, slow and steady to keep the conversation going, watching John nod as he listened intently.

"You never woke up?"

"Um. No. Heh, guess I'm a heavy sleeper or something but anyway the strange part is that they didn't take anything except one picture of me from the company party about 2 years ago. Oh and they left me a strange note on my bathroom mirror. Said 'Open your eyes', whatever that's supposed to mean."

John smirked a bit as he listened to her, glad she got his message but a bit disappointed that she didn't get the point behind it - or maybe she just didn't want to tell him what she thought he didn't know. She was lucky she woke up in the morning with the state he found her in but he knew that if she did this more then once one day she wouldn't wake up, she wouldn't have a heartbeat. He reached out and placed his hand overtop hers that was sitting on the table, watching her head tilt to the side in confusion at their contact. "I'm glad you're safe. Otherwise who would I spend the day with…that is unless you have plans."

She couldn't help but to smile at the man before her that was slowly getting under her skin in a why someone hadn't in a very long time. She had been so closed to everyone around her and John was the only person who persisted and it was paying off for him. "No. It's my day off. I'd love to join you."

He nodded and stood up from the table, heading to the door and holding it open for her as she finished the contents of her cup and tossed it in the trash can. As he exited behind her he offered her his arm, the young woman hooking her arm in his, laughing before he saw that smile that always made his day and both of them headed down the sidewalk.

_Do you ever feel me? Do you ever look deep down inside? Staring at yourself, paralyzed. I feel numb, I can't come to life, I feel like I'm frozen in time. Living in a world so cold, wasting away. Living in a shell with no soul since you've gone away. Living in a world so cold, counting the days since you've gone away. You've gone away from me._

**- - end flashback - -**

She sat on the edge of the bed she spent the night on, having only woken up a few minutes ago. She needed the extra sleep and was glad it was afforded to her. It was a little bit of a challenge to sit up, but thankfully the injury she sustained wasn't too bad - that is the one that actually punctured skin. Her face felt numb and she could feel the black eye from getting pummeled by a man that was definitely 3 times her size. She lifted up her shirt to look at the bandage on her side and the little bit of blood that had seeped through over night before closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She slid from the bed, grabbing the sweat pants draped across the chair and putting them on.

She took her time exiting the room, going on a search for John. There were some things she needed to talk to him about, some things she had to say to feel like she were human and not this horrid monster she started painting herself as. She needed to heal her state of mind before she completely lost her sanity.

_I'm too young to lose my soul. I'm too young to feel this old. So long, I'm left behind. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Do you ever feel me? Do you ever look deep down inside? Staring at your life, paralyzed. Living in a world so cold, wasting away. Living in a shell with no soul…_


	14. Emotional Devotions

"What are you doing up? You should be resting."

"Yeah, I know but I needed to talk to you." she looked around the room she found John in, essentially the basement of the building. She wasn't sure what he was doing since he didn't have any tools, but the room itself was uncomfortably eerie as it were. When he motioned for her to sit down on top of the table he was standing near, she slowly shimmied over to it and pushed herself up, cringing slightly. "John, why do I feel like I just became a serial killer after last night? Actually, I've felt that way long before then with Hoffman's trap but now I just feel like I turned into what you punish. So why are we not punishing ourselves for the things we punish others for if you want to call it that?"

"My dear, do you really feel like you're a murderer? You haven't murdered a single soul in anything you've don--" The look she shot him was one he hadn't seen on her before, a sense of guilt and agony over what was going on. Perhaps he should keep her out of the games, she wasn't handling them very well and even more so after last night's fiasco that should have gone much smoother then it did. She suffered the consequences of getting involved and that wasn't what John wanted - she didn't deserve to be thrown around like a rag doll and beaten to a bloodied mess, but if she had only listened to him. He sat down next to her when she looked down at the floor and he watched a single tear roll down her cheek. He placed an arm around her and pulled her close, tilting his head to the side. "Look at me." he was gentle, taking the moment to rebuild what he broke down for the sake of the game; unfortunately she wasn't able to keep her heart out of the game regardless of his attempts. When she finally looked up at him he sighed, reaching over and brushing the second tear away. "What would have happened if you hadn't found something to defend yourself with?"

"…he…probably would have beaten me to death."

"Exactly. Would you call what you did self defense or murder?"

"I guess self defense."

"Then what are you so upset over? I'm not mad at you and I don't consider what you did murder. I've had many games where those involved have had to defend themselves from death. Amanda was part of one where she and a young boy would have surely died if the boy hadn't reacted the way he did. These games are about the survival instinct, not the need to die for someone else's sake." He watched the way her pupils dilated as he spoke to her before she pulled away from him, clearly angry. He raised a brow slowly and reached for her hand but she pulled it away, shaking her head.

"This is all…normal to you, huh? I watched a man I thought I knew murder his own fucking wife for the sake of some…cunt that he was fucking behind her back! A woman who helped him murder his own goddamn father that I _also_ knew personally! Olsen watched his mother die before his eyes - like I watched my father and then I…I…I gave another person in the world a taste of how it feels to be me!! THAT'S NOT OKAY! IT'S NOT FUCKING OKAY!!! He has NOTHING because of ME!" Her entire body language changed, her hands moving erratically to emphasize her point to him. She started quivering in response to the rage building, the emotions that she hated to feel were attacking her violently. The tears started to flow like a river, she was breathing hard, and in her final statement she lurched forward, grabbing John's shirt aggressively and pulling him towards her with a rather amazing strength. She was shaking him in her anger and hysterics.

John reached up, grabbing her hands forcefully to try and get her to calm down, but when she didn't he decided to pull her closer and cringed at the sensation of her balled up fist hitting his chest. She was angry and there was nothing he could do to stop her, even his affections did nothing. When she shoved him away he reached for her, only to watch her leap off the table painfully and storm out of the room. Sighing, he reached up and brushed a hand over his face, shaking his head. If he didn't find a way to soothe her she was going to be a real bear to deal with and with the way he felt lately, he couldn't afford to lose any time with her. Normally John would have used his stern and demanding personality to bring her to a halt but she was so upset over what happened that he felt it would only do more damage - she already loathed herself and that was the furthest from what he wanted for her. He remained on the table, looking around the room and just taking some time to think about how he could handle the emotional tornado that was just created.

_Give me reason to believe. Cause you don't wanna see me leave. I can't stop the rain but I can stop the tears. Oh I can fight the fire but I can't fight the fear. No more, I just can't live here. No more, I can't take it, can't take it. No more, what do we stand for when we all live in fear?_

She sat alone in complete silence and isolation from everyone else in front of the monitors, her knees brought up to her chest, her head down in them hidden from sight and her arms wrapped around tightly. She had been crying for quite some time, Amanda aware of it but being polite enough to leave her alone, occasionally walking by to check and make sure she wasn't doing something drastic like trying to off herself again - she honestly only did it for the sake of John. By the time John had finally returned upstairs it had been a few hours and Michelle was finally staring blankly at the monitors, wrapped up in a blanket she had grabbed since she was shivering and freezing to death; on top of everything else in her life she was getting what felt like the flu from freezing in that asylum.

John made his way up the stairs to her and when she didn't look at him, he was absolutely sure she knew he was there next to her.

"Please go away." her voice cracked, clearly strained from everything she had been involved in lately with trying to scream overtop of hysterical test subjects to get them to pay attention to the task at hand. When he didn't leave she sighed deeply, frowning and bringing her tongue over her lips for a moment to moisten them. "I watched half the people that worked with me die because they were human and made stupid mistakes." She heard John chuckle at her statement and she glared at him, finally facing him. "What's so fucking funny? Everyone makes mistakes. It's human nature. If you never fucked up, you wouldn't be human."

"So you're telling me I should have let you lay on the floor and bleed out and die when you 'made a mistake'? Do you think any of those people in that building would have hesitated to let you die for them? How about the shock you got because they couldn't listen to instructions?" He was getting angry at her stubborn behavior right now, pulling out a chair to sit in but now before grabbing hers and turning it to face him, catching her off guard. "They would have all left you to die if it came down to it. They didn't care what happened to you. Yes, it's human nature to make mistakes but it also appears to be human nature to not feel a damn bit of regret for it. Do you want to be like everyone else?" Now she was looking at him, her frown having faded but only briefly before she turned away from him, John taking a deep breath - easy, relax. "Michelle. Look at me right now." Thankfully it worked as she turned to look at him; it was like dealing with a stubborn child with the mindset she was in right now. "I'm going to tell you this just once and you're going to do whatever you want with this information. I trust you will stop acting like a child and behave accordingly."

"Don't--"

"Shh. Don't open your mouth. Michelle, the reason I gave you the tools to survive in that game, the reason I trusted you to help me as much as you have, and the reason I didn't let nor want you to die is because you mean more to me then you clearly are aware of. Are you going to defend people who don't even care who you are or are you going to trust a man who loves you with everything he's capable of? The heart is not meant to be involved in these situations, but I fear if I don't tell you how much I truly love you, you'll end up becoming a handful." He growled a bit, coughing for a moment when he was done before standing up and putting his hand in his pocket. He had her full attention like he wanted and as she leaned back in her chair he pulled something out of his pocket and grabbed her wrist forcefully, getting her to open his hand and put something in the middle of it, closing her fingers around it and then disappeared down the stairs.

For a while she just sat there with her fingers still closed around whatever it was in the middle of her hand before she looked over her shoulder to see if he was coming back. She was honestly in shock over what she just heard and didn't have anything intelligent to say to it, so she opted to remain quiet and let it all sink in first. When her fingers opened she found she had a ring on a chain, looking at it rather confused for the time being. She didn't understand the significance of it at all and spent the next 4 hours alone in the same spot he found her, just looking this ordinary ring over and turning it around in her hand. She finally realized how truly unbearable she had been and thought over everything John said to her. He was right, they would have let her die which was obvious when they left her laying there after the shock. Not to mention he did save her life and had no obligation to do that - it wasn't like she owed him anything before that. But now, now she owed him something much bigger then she ever anticipated owing a single soul; her life. The obligation to John was steep and staggering and yet he hadn't even mentioned a single thing to her about owing him anything. In fact, he often told her she didn't…so why was she harping so hard on him? This life was so difficult to live and yet Amanda and Hoffman lived it like it was cake. She leaned back in her chair and sighed, closing her eyes before forcing herself to get up, the blanket still wrapped tightly around her and the ring in her hand.

When she found John he was currently resting in his bed, clearly exhausted from all the struggles cancer forced on him. His body was withering away slowly and she could see that all on her own. She at least owed him to care for him in these moments of his life after everything he did for her before even now. Right now she saw John as John and not as the Jigsaw killer; there were rare moments he allowed that part of him to shine through in front of her and she shouldn't force him to walk on eggshells so much with her. She walked over to the side of his bed and kneeled down on the ground, wincing a bit before looking him over and reaching out for his hand. She placed her hand on his own and whispered softly "I'm sorry. You accept me for me and I…owe you the same and so much more…"

"You owe me nothing." he opened his eyes, watching the startled young woman look up at him. He couldn't read her expression at the current moment, but he could tell that she felt much different then earlier, that she was much more collected and calm.

"Let me speak please." When he nodded in agreement she continued. "You saved me more then once and I'm being selfish by harping on you like I am. It's not my place to say what's right or wrong cause I'm as guilty as everyone else in the world. And because of you not only do I care about my life but I care about someone else and it's a feeling I haven't known in years. I've always wanted to be important to someone after I lost my parents and now that I have that I just blow it off like it doesn't matter. I don't understand anything about this, but…if you'll teach me, I'll listen."

John showed no emotion but inside he felt a smile creep up at what she just said. He squeezed her hand to let her know it was alright, that he wasn't upset, and that he was more then willing to bring her closer if that was what she really wanted.

"And John…" she dropped her head and bit her bottom lip, taking a deep breath "…I…I care for you too."

That was probably the closest he was going to get right now and that was fine by him, he nodded in understanding of what she was trying to say and propped himself up on his side, taking the ring out of her hand and placing the chain over her head and around her neck. He would explain that much later, for now he just wanted to take the time to enjoy the serenity of this moment - one of very few where she let down her walls and let him in.


	15. Stay Strong

Being sick was horribly debilitating for everyone in the world, but John's illness was incredibly difficult for others to handle more so then himself. The days that followed found John in a much more difficult position as far as his cancer was concerned and although the progression and downhill battle moved at a steady pace, he wasn't prepared for the quick slide. It all happened the night he found Michelle curled up in the fetal position under two blankets, shivering to death. The heat coming off of her body was alarming, but no matter how much he tried to move her she refused to go anywhere, only wanting to sleep. It took a few hours for him to get her to get up and clearly she was suffering from the cold snap that occurred the night she was running around in the asylum barefoot and with nothing but a tank top and sweat pants. If she felt half as bad as she looked during that time he could only imagine. The night he convinced her to sit in a cold bath to try and lower her body temperature would be one of his last caring for particular illness. When he came in to check on her after about half an hour, he collapsed in the bathroom and found that the girl he was caring for was all too ready to care for him, even in her own weakened state.

She had managed to get him up off the floor and out to his bed and reacted as it if were instinct. She hooked him up to heart rate monitor as well as made sure to hook him up to an IV to get him some fluids and administer whatever they had available to at least assist. He kept complaining of a pain in his head and she wasn't exactly sure what to do at that point but do whatever it took to soothe it. The whole ordeal left her completely spent and when she woke up the next morning she found she had fallen asleep with her head on the mattress sitting beside his bed. To John's credit, in spite of how weak and tired he was, it was him stroking the red strands of her hair that brought her out of her sleep. Amanda came into the room to check on John which gave her a temporary reprieve, still trembling from the chills. She hoped it would pass quickly because she couldn't afford to be so concerned about her own illness when John was in need of someone to care for his. Since when did she become such a martyr for this man? She went into the cabinet to get some pain killers for John, dumping the two pills into her hand, all the while Amanda and John both able to watch her from their vantage point.

"You really trust her?" Amanda ran her fingers through his white hair, looking down at him with an expression of worry and sadness.

"Absolutely. And the reasons why are between her and I." He knew Amanda wouldn't be able to help herself but to inquire why and he saw the frustration on her face, taking hold of her hand with one and patting the top of it with the other to assure her he knew what he was doing. She nodded to him before Michelle approached with the pain killers. Luckily he was still able to sit up on his own, but he feared that ability was going to be more and more limited in a very short period of time. He took the cup of water she offered to him as well as the pills and took both of them, watching as Amanda looked her up and down silently for a moment.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks. I feel terrible, but that's besides the point." She sneered at Amanda, shaking her head, clearly not feeling up to par to start arguing with her over how she felt at the time. She was undoubtedly focused on caring for John so Amanda didn't have anything on her for the time being. Hell, she should be happy that her entire focus was on the man she loved.

When Amanda finally left she sighed and sat down in the chair next to John's bedside, rubbing her forehead to ward off the headache that was only going to compound the way she felt at the moment. She had her eyes closed and frowned before turning away from John and coughing into her fist, making a pained sound afterwards before turning her attention back to him.

"If you don't get any rest, you're going to get worse."

"Please, no lectures right now. I'm not the one who needs the care. It's the flu, nothing serious. It'll go away when it wants to." She saw the unamused look on John's face and sighed, tilting her head to the side. "You're going to be angry with me if I don't rest, aren't you?" The nodding of his head caused her to roll her eyes before smirking a bit and shaking her head, John grinning in response.

"I'm fine right now. Get some rest. I don't want to see you back here until your fever has gone down. Amanda can help for now."

"Fine. But not because you told me to, because I think I'm gonna pass out cause my head is starting to spin." She got up from the chair, smiling at John over her shoulder as he shook his head at her statement of 'not because you told me to'. Her stubborn, self asserting behavior would never change but John started to like it that way, no matter how annoyed he got at her from time to time. She walked out of John's room to her own bed, pulling the curtain aside and essentially collapsing onto the mattress due to her exhaustion. She closed her eyes, welcoming the opportunity to sleep this off but not welcoming the frustration she was feeling from the worsening condition John was in - she knew it was coming but she didn't want to acknowledge it just like Amanda.


	16. Pain And Love Are One In The Same

_Stay low, soft, dark, and dreamless. Far beneath my blindness and loneliness. I hate me for breathing without you. I don't want to feel anymore for you. Grieving for you. I'm not grieving for you. Nothing real love can't undo. And though I may have lost my way, all paths lead straight to you. I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you._

Being part of his world was not only exhausting but it was emotionally draining, taking everything she was and everything she had. She felt as though the very life she breathed was being ripped away from her little by little. She couldn't handle the emotions, the frustrations, and the agony it was all causing her. Every day was a fight lately not to pick up anything to make it stop for a short period of time and drift off into a state of nothingness.

John's failing health was killing her in more ways then one, but she would never express that to him because she had to stay strong for more then just herself. In spite of her attempts to seem capable of handling the stresses placed on her, John was all too aware that his little project was starting to shatter. He tried everything he could think of at this time to keep her from losing her mind, often times just talking to her about it. She was honest with him and John could only appreciate that she didn't want to lie - she admitted that she felt as though she couldn't do this anymore.

Sitting by his bedside, she had her head resting on her hand with her elbow propped up on the arm of the chair, her eyes fluttering closed and opening again in short bursts. John was currently sleeping and much more peacefully then he had been in a long while, but all the same the cancer caused him agonizing pain that she felt she couldn't heal. The rest that she had was always in very short bursts and often times she couldn't even drag herself away from the dying man that wrapped himself around her very soul and refused to let go. He stirred and her head shot up to watch him, glancing at the heart rate monitor closely to make sure he retained that steady heartbeat of his. Sighing at herself she finally got up from the chair, wandering out into the lair to get not only herself something to drink, but John as well - surely he'd be thirsty when he finally woke up.

Amanda and Hoffman had now become almost entirely responsible for everything involving the games lately. John's short trips to check on things were about all he could afford at the time. He did work here and there on a number of the traps for this most recent game, but time was not on his side and even after he was done he had to rely on the two to finish off the details. Walking back into the medical room, she was slightly relieved to see that his eyes were open and he was awake, turning to face her. She smiled as best she could with the heavy burden overwhelming her and brought the cup over to him so he could get a drink of water before setting it back down on the table at his bedside.

"What's wrong?" he questioned his caretaker and saw the shock on her face in regards to him asking what was wrong - she thought she had him fooled, that much was obvious.

"I'm just tired John. I'll be fine."

"No. You don't look like you're just tired. You look like something is hurting you."

It took her by surprise at how observant he was in regards to her behaviors and attitudes, but she had spent every waking hour of her life with him lately and in that time she couldn't help but to expose herself to the only person in her life that wanted to listen. She turned to face him, placing her hands on the mattress only to have him place his hands on her own. Ever since she had gotten over the flu, John's progression became drastically severe. It felt like someone stabbed her in the heart and twisted the knife, tearing it apart and she couldn't understand why she felt so close to this man…except that he saved her life. "I just…don't know what I'm going to do without you. It's a feeling that stresses me out and causes me more heartache then I've felt in a very long time."

He couldn't help but to smile a bit at how honest she was. It had taken all this time together for him to finally get her to admit to him how she felt, to express her emotions, and it was a relief for John to know. He squeezed one of her hands in reassurance, wanting nothing more then to be able to take her into his arms and tell her everything would be alright, but unfortunately he knew the truth and it wasn't that things would be fine. He would be the third person to leave her behind and it truly worried him where she would go from this point - Michelle didn't attach herself to people to avoid the pain of loss, it was something she told him directly. "But I will never leave you. Do you understand that? You've grown so much since your time here and I know you have the strength to overcome even the most difficult things in your life now." He could see the tears welling up and smiled warmly to comfort her "I wanted you by my side for a reason. The ring you wear around your neck is a symbol to you of the bond that we share. It was the ring that bonded Jill and I and now that that time is gone, I wanted you to know that I would always be with you." He watched a single tear trail down her cheek before she looked away from him. He couldn't offer her much more then a few gentle squeezes to let her know he was there and it bothered him more then he thought it would. "Listen to me Michelle."

"No. I have to tell you something before I lose the chance. Time is not on our side and I know that better then anyone else. John I…you know I guarded my heart from even loving my closest friend so that if something happened to her I would never have to feel the pain? I thought that having to grieve over the death of someone else meant I was weak and feeble. I haven't loved another person since my mother--" She took a deep breath and dropped her head, speaking in an almost inaudible tone of voice "--since you."

John paused in silent thought with the confession she just made, not knowing if there were any words to even express how he felt at this very moment with the confession she just made. He shook her hand gently to get her to look at him and then pulled her closer with all the strength he had. Reaching up he placed a hand on her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away the residual tear and then stroked her face gently. He could see the pain it was causing her, but she had to feel the pain to remember that she was indeed alive and in this moment so was he. "You already know how I feel." he reached up with his other hand and placed a hand over her heart and for a few moment they simply looked at one another, silently acknowledging the confessions of the other.

She nodded her head and reached up to the hand on her cheek, squeezing it before gently lowering it back down. Whatever provoked her to do it, it would be the last sign of affection she showed her ailing savior as she lowered her head down, pressing a very gentle kiss to his temple but before she could rise he took hold of her arm, keeping her there close to him for just a little bit longer so he could feel her soft skin against his own and listen to the beating of her heart. When he released her she rose up and smiled "…are you hungry?" As he nodded in verification of her question, Amanda entered the room, both women exchanging silent looks before Michelle exited.

After Amanda left, Michelle returned with something to eat for John, helping to feed him. Afterwards she made sure he was comfortable and everything was in order. John fell asleep peacefully with her hand in his own and she very gently pulled her hand from his own. Standing up from the chair, she came closer to his bedside, for the first time running her fingers through his white hair as she felt the threat of tears all over again - damnit. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead before exiting the room. Amanda was sitting at a table working on a collar, picking her head up to look at the girl who looked terribly troubled and beaten down. "John's resting right now. I need some time to think before all of this happens. Can you watch over him?"

Amanda nodded in silent agreement as Michelle smiled half-heartedly and left the lair for the evening to take a stroll in the crisp midnight air and drown her sorrows.

_Halo, blinding wall between us. Melt away and leave us alone again. We're humming, haunted somewhere out there. I believe that love can see us through in death._


	17. Little Sins, Big Problems

_It's not what it seems when you're not on the scene, there's a chill in the air. But there's people like me that nobody sees, so nobody cares. Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you? When it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you. Why is it so hard to find someone who can keep it together when you've come undone? I swear this time it won't turn out the same cause now I've got myself to blame and you'll know when we end up on the streets that it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you._

It wasn't the way to deal with problems, but it was the easiest way to calm nerves and a feeling of despair for 90% of the population. She raised the bottle to her lips and took a small swig since it had been so long, shuddering at the burning sensation. She wished she could numb the pain of feeling helpless and even more so the pain of loving someone so much that knowing their end was nearing was murder. Holding it out in front of her, she looked over the label of the bottle, having picked it almost completely off at this juncture. She had been nursing this bottle for the better half of an hour, turned around on the stool and looking out over the cluster of people in this bar. It was a seedy little place but it was the easiest place to go not only because of the proximity, but also the fact that no one here would know a damn thing about who she was. She watched two men start to swing at one another, shaking her head slowly as it escalated into a drunken brawl where everyone else felt the need to get involved. A man pulled a stool out beside her, ordering his drink and for a moment she peered at him out of the corner of her eye wondering if he was going to pester her for the 40th time tonight, but surprisingly he simply shot the whiskey, and the next, and the next. "…that shit's bad for you pal. It leads to bad decisions."

The man turned on his stool, looking at the young woman beside him that bothered to address his current behavior, laughing a bit and returning to shoot the next one. "You're one to talk. Drinking is bad for everyone, no matter what it is your drinking. Wouldn't you agree or are you a hypocrite?"

"No, I'd agree that what I'm doing is stupid but sometimes you can't help the little sins that ease the pain of the big ones." She looked directly at him to watch him shoot the next 5 before swaying a bit. "So what sin are you trying to forget?"

"…that I murdered my wife."

"Whoa…what?!"

"Just kidding. No, trying to forget that my wife left me for this guy that's about 20 years her younger." The man slapped his knee and smirked but when he realized that what he said was lacking a bit of tact he shrugged and went back to asking for another shot. "I figure if I drink enough the pain will eventually stop. Been doing this for the past 4 months."

"…all you're doing is destroying yourself for the sake of someone else's bad decision. Do you really want to be that person?" She leaned back a bit, finally finishing off her beer and setting the bottle down as he turned to face her, his gaze narrowing a bit before he pointed to the necklace around her neck.

"Not happily married? What person wears their spouse's wedding ring around their neck?"

She looked down at the necklace before tucking it into her shirt and shaking her head, laughing. "Definitely not married. I don't really know what I am to be honest."

"If you're not married then why do you have some guy's wedding ring around your neck?"

"It was a gift. It's symbolic of…our bond." she shrugged and tilted her head to the side, pushing a strand of red hair out of her face.

"So in other words, you're technically married." This poor pathetic soul was doing exactly what everyone else did; wasting his life away in a rundown shack of a bar just to numb the pain of what his ex-wife did to him. It was unfortunate and so was her even being here, she realized that now.

She rose from the bar stool and raised a brow as the despairing man dropped his head to the countertop and started to cry. She wasn't used to that behavior from a man and sighed, finding that no matter what situation she was in, she could still feel her heart beating. She patted him on the back and leaned in as he slowly lifted his head "I'm gonna tell you something that someone once told me and if I had listened the first time, I wouldn't have ended up where I did so many times over. Life is all about the choices we make. Remember, karma is one hell of a bitch. Put down the bottle and you'll be just fine."

"Hey." he grabbed her arm before she turned to leave, causing her to pause and glance curiously at him. "Whoever the guy is that loves you as much as I gather he does, remember that he always will and whatever obstacles you are trying to overcome, you can do it together." He watched her crack a small smile and close her eyes, nodding before he released her arm. He watched the redhead exit the bar in silence just as she had entered before he looked at the glass in his hand and set it down, waving the bartender to take it away. She was right, as much as he didn't want to face the reality, she knew exactly what she was talking about.

Outside she wrapped her arms around herself as she started to walk down the sidewalk. She was consumed in her thoughts but at the same time had learned from John to watch her surroundings carefully, occasionally checking behind her for someone who might have ill intentions following her. As the sense of serenity returned she closed her eyes momentarily and took in the scent of the crisp night air. Tonight might very well be her last night with John, but she planned on making it count, no matter the outcome of the game he had set up to play out in the days following. She finally continued in the dark of the night completely unaware of the presence that stepped out from one of the alleys she passed by.

The silence of the night was broken by the sound of a terrified scream, a violent fight, and a bloodied scene of terror.


	18. I Will Always Be With You

The next morning Hoffman entered the room of John Kramer who was surprisingly sitting up thanks to the help of Amanda. He was at his desk with a blank stare on his face before finally looking to the detective. Hoffman cocked his head to the side and shook it lightly as Amanda came up behind him with a cup of water "Something wrong?"

"Michelle left last night and never came back." Amanda piped up for John, looking concerned at her caretaker who seemed, for the first time that she'd seen, emotionally troubled.

Hoffman rubbed at the back of his neck for a moment before sighing deeply and tilting his head to get a better look at John. "John. There's something I have to tell you. I don't know how to say this." Glancing to Amanda, he watched the young woman reach over and place her hand on John's arm before he finally looked the detective in the eyes. "…I happened to be driving to the lair and heard a scream so I figured I should investigate. There was a young woman I found dead in the street not far from here..." He watched John's expression grow dark, watched the way the spark in his eyes flashed dangerously before taking a deep breath "…it was Michelle. I recognized her right away."

John said nothing, just took a deep breath, his grip on the pencil in his hand growing so tight he actually felt the wood splintering under his fingers. "You're sure?" It wasn't a question that was easy to ask, it took him a long time to collect his thoughts but when he saw the detective nod he closed his eyes, dropping the pencil and bringing his hand to his face, taking the deepest breath possible. "Where is she now?"

"I was about to take her to the--"

"No. I want to see her." he didn't really want to see her in that state, but he had to see it for himself before he lost his mind. Where did she go? Why did she go alone? The thoughts were making him sick and very weak and he needed a moment alone. He waved the two off before covering his face, breathing heavily. It had been a long time since John Kramer and especially Jigsaw felt this kind of painful rage that welled up in the pit of his stomach. She couldn't be gone that easily, she just couldn't leave…not yet, not now. He…needed her.

When Hoffman returned shortly afterwards he laid the body of the lifeless young woman down on one of the tables, John using one to steady himself as he watched in silence. He didn't have to see the body close up to realize that his worst fears were realized in that instant. Red hair covered in dried blood hung over the edge of the table, her arms covered in clearly visible defense wounds - good girl, at least you put up a fight. Amanda entered the room and placed a hand over her mouth, looking over at John as he slowly approached and Hoffman backed off. Trembling fingers slowly reached over, touching the cold, pale skin that was once warm and inviting. Those hazel eyes that shone full of life and gave him hope and strength were lifeless now. The way she died was made clear by not only the ligature marks around her neck but the large gash and the multiple stab wounds - whoever killed her wanted to make sure she was dead. It would be the first time either Amanda or Hoffman would see the emotion hidden so deep within the confines of John Kramer's soul and the very act would shake him to his core.

He picked her hand up and brought the back of it up to his lips, closing his eyes and trying to control not only the sorrow but the anger that was becoming violently vengeful. Reaching over with his free hand he brushed the blood encrusted hair away from her forehead before running his fingers through those red strands. His head finally dropped and as he leaned over her lifeless body he couldn't control himself anymore "God...". John knew that getting so attached to this woman could cause him so many problems, but she meant more then he could have expressed with words and now he was paying the price. Tears streamed down the ailing man's cheeks and seeing John in so much pain incited an emotional response in Amanda as a single tear ran down her cheek. He spent quite some time there by her side, apologizing for leaving her alone, for not being there, and for her suffering before vowing that her attacker would not go unpunished.

John believe she deserved so much more then to be another body found by the FBI in regards to his traps, so in spite of his aggressive illness and the potential for problems, John planned a proper burial for the young woman. Hoffman put everything in place and for the young woman who surprisingly turned away so many people, there were many who were present to bid their farewells to her, but not John. He didn't want to have to say goodbye again and risk ruining what would become a very important game, instead he wanted to have his own time with her. When the service was over and a week had passed, John had Amanda and Hoffman get him to the graveyard. He was in agonizing pain and struggling, but he refused to miss what would become his last chance to "see" her. Amanda wheeled him up to her headstone in his wheelchair before stepping away to give him peace. John looked over her headstone, sighing and closing his eyes for a moment. He looked to the left to see that of her mother and to the right that of her father whose lives had influenced so much of her life - a life she didn't live long enough in John's eyes. He pushed himself closer to her headstone and reached out, placing a hand on it before he took the ring on the chain he had given to her and laid it across it, smiling. "I will always be proud of you. I will join you shortly."

Jeff stood over his torture's body as blood gushed from the large gash created by the circular saw "I forgive you." John's hand extended painfully towards the lifeless body of his apprentice, another woman who also meant so much to him. John closed his eyes, remembering the fiery redhead who gave him a challenge, became one of his greatest endeavors, his most trusted friend, and overall a "soulmate". He believed he would see her again but this time without the restraints of time and fate as he took his last breath.

And in John's final game Hoffman would pay the price for his greatest sin - ending the life of a helpless woman that John called his very own and disobeying the rules set down by his _teacher_.

_You're not alone, no matter what they told you. You're not alone, I'll be right beside you forever more. I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you do. There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you. And as we lay in silent bliss, I know you remember me. I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you. There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you. I'm coming for you._

_

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_

I apologize if you were expecting a happy ending but we all know that the Saw series doesn't afford it's viewers that luxury and I wanted to stay true to the nature of the films. I also wanted it to fit in the cannon, hence the reference to Saw IV and Saw VI.

So there you have it, it was a long process that was A LOT of fun and don't worry, if you really liked the characters and liked the dynamic between John and Michelle, there are lots of side stories left to be told to really expand on things (not to mention your classic smut goodness as well).

I would love to hear from the people who have read both stories about how you felt about the story itself and any side stories or things you would like to see from me next. Even if you want an alternate ending, let me know and I might possibly write one to see how it turns out. Any and all suggestions and requests are welcome.

Thanks for all your lovely comments on all the stories I've posted - it inspires me to continue writing and posting more for you guys.

**Music used in both fics for those curious:**

**Breaking Benjamin album Dear Agony (used a number of songs from this album)**

**Evanescence - Like You**

**Three Days Grace album Life Starts Now (also used a number of songs)**

**Theory of a Deadman - Bad Girlfriend**

And to top it, my most inspirational song for the idea behind the fic:

_Every street in this city is the same to me_

_Everyone's got a place to be but there's no room for me_

_Am I to blame when the guilt and the shame hang over me_

_Like a dark cloud that chases you down in the pouring rain_

_It's so hard to find someone who cares about you_

_But it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?_

_When it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you_

_It's not what it seems when you're not on the scene, there's a chill in the air_

_But there's people like me that nobody sees, so nobody cares_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?_

_When it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who can keep it together when you've come undone?_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?_

_I swear this time it won't turn out the same cause now I've got myself to blame_

_And you'll know when we end up on streets that it's easy enough to find someone who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?_

_When it's easy to find someone who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who can keep it together when you've come undone?_

_Why is it so hard to find someone who cares about you?_


	19. Death Is a Surprise Party

**I got inspired to write something a little darker. This is indeed a death ficlet so please, if you're sensitive to this sort of thing do not read.**

**Easter Egg for the sequel!**

**Review and let me know what you think of it, I felt it would be interesting to explore Hoffman's final plan.**

* * *

The rough hands that grabbed her were covered in black gloves, her only instinct was to fight back no matter what so promptly biting down on the hand over her mouth gave her a moment to get her bearings. She was shoved forward as she did so, stumbling into a dumpster and breathing hard as she tried to regain her focus but she was sluggish and knew that the alcohol she consumed earlier was inhibiting her more then she needed. Her attacker came up behind her with a wire, wrapping it tightly around her neck and pulling. Flailing helplessly, she clawed at the wire around her neck, trying to get it to slack off as she felt her airway closing off. She gasped as she was smashed against the chest of her attacker as they pulled tighter trying to end it. She started to go limp before closing her eyes, trying desperately to find some inner strength and she searched for that little survival instinct John always told her so much about - there it was. She raised her foot and slammed the heel of her boot down onto the toe of the attacker's boot, getting the release she needed as the wire dropped down to the ground before her. Taking her elbow and slamming it into their stomach, she heard them grunt before they released her. She was so weak from the lack of oxygen that she collapsed to her knees in the middle of the street, coughing and gasping to try and get that precious oxygen to start flowing easily again. Falling forward onto her hands, her chest heaved with the deep breaths she was trying to take.

She was able to gather herself quicker then her attacker, turning around to look behind her as they stood up in the darkness, starting to advance towards her. When the light from the street lamps hit their dark features her eyes went wide. "…Hoffman…" she tried to get to her feet only to have him lunge at her, slamming her into the concrete as he landed on top of her. Immediately an aggressive struggle ensued as he pulled out his knife, Michelle grabbing his wrist and fighting desperately as he brought it to her throat. She dug her nails into his wrist violently, causing the blood to start to slowly flow from the wounds but not before he swung his hand off to the side, cutting the delicate flesh of her neck open.

Enraged, Hoffman hauled off with his other hand, slapping her across the face as he dropped the knife. Her head snapped off to the side with the force of the slap before she turned to face him again and he grabbed her shoulders, lifting her up before slamming her head into the concrete as hard as he could. The first time was agonizing and those that followed got progressively worse, he watched the fiery red heads bright eyes start to dull as she swayed more and more with each deadly, forceful blow into the concrete. Hoffman had to stop himself before he killed her by bashing her skull into the concrete - he had to make this look like an assault, like someone just randomly murdered her otherwise he would meet his own untimely demise. He watched her eyes roll into the back of her head before he violently shook her by the shoulders, watching her eyes flutter back to life temporarily. He grinned as he looked down at her, leaning in close to her ear "I told you the minute you walked away from John…" As he looked into her eyes he saw the tears brimming, shaking his head as one trailed down her cheek and gently brushing it away only to further taunt her in her struggle to survive. He reached down, grabbing the knife off of the ground and sat upright, holding it above his head "Game over _bitch_."

"Hoffman, no…please…" she started to sob as she pleaded the best she could, coughing up blood in the process until she felt the pain of the cold steel sinking into her chest. She wailed and threw her head back, closing her eyes as she felt the second intrusion of cold metal into soft flesh. She screamed with each agonizing thrust of the knife into her body until she couldn't feel it anymore, lying motionless as Hoffman raised the knife above his head for the 8th time. She coughed up more blood, her shirt soaked and tinged red, her hand shaking as she tried to raise it up to stop him, but even if he stopped now, she would surely bleed to death here in the middle of the street. The very thought of never seeing John again, not being by his side as he lived out his final days was agonizing. Her very life flashed before her eyes from the days when she was a little girl riding around on her father's shoulders, to when she was fighting to live through the untimely death of her parents, then to the struggles of fighting for her life in two rooms of torture meant to teach her a lesson about appreciating the gift of life, and finally to the very last thing she told John before she left the lair this evening. That was it, she loved him, no matter the form it came in, it was love. There was no use in denying that fact to herself any longer - she loved the man dearly and she would never get the chance to tell him that. Hazel eyes peered up at her attacker and he watched the final tears stream down her cheeks before taking the blade of the knife and with a quick motion, sent it plunging into her heart.

Blood had spattered all over his black clothes, his gloves completely covered in her blood as he stared down at the blood pouring out from every wound on her body. Whatever it was that provoked him, he wasn't sure, but he leaned down, pressing his lips to her own, tasting the metallic tinge of the blood seeping from between parted lips that gasped for one last breath. He stood up from over her body and shook his head, looking down at her and removing his gloves, one at a time, making sure to wrap his knife up in them and not get himself covered in her blood anymore then he already was. "It's a pity really. You could have been worth a lot more but now you're the first link in John's chain that's been broken." Tilting his head to the side to look her lifeless body over he shook his head slowly "What a shame, especially with how much that old man loved you, but you opened your mouth and I warned you. Oh well, death was what you wanted in the first place before you showed up, right? I just did you a favor." With those final words Hoffman took hold of her ankles, dragging her out of sight so that no one would find her. He had to clean himself up and formulate a believable story because he knew that John would want answers and in spite of himself, he owed the dying old man some kind of closure.

_What if I walked without you? What if I ran without you? What if I stand without you? I could not go on. What if lived without you? What if I loved without you? What if I died without you? I could not go on. You left my side tonight and I, I just don't feel right. But I, I can't let you out of sight. Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing at all._


End file.
